I do well getting through sleep deprivation (for the past 12 years), and only hope I do memorize the parts of the Audit course that I believe I memorize well with all the time I keep putting in.
My car is perfectly clean, but I still back out of the madness of the parking lots cautiously, praying I do not hit anything or anyone.
I juggle so many things at home that I keep my toes crossed that while I am finishing up something urgent at one part of the house, the mess the Chinchillas Bros create at another part of the house will not be dangerous to them.
I have a signed contract in hand and a start date - and being back on the track brings me more relief than anything else in the world now.
I have mastered all 3 blocks and get a much better feeling of my body during the movements. I fool around and while only my partner can hear me instead of "Kiap" yell "Namaste!". "Yes, right, - grins my partner, - the vengeance in me...."
I have wrapped up 3 pile of gifts for 3 toddlers and shipped back the laptop whose CD-rom sounded like the entire thing was going to take off into the air and fly out of the window every time I was going to install QuickBooks. And I do need a functioning laptop with Quick Books, Office, Tax and Engagement for next year.
I have written 4 articles on productivity and time management in the past 6 months. I have challenged my own productivity and time management skills as I know them and - only the coming year will show what other tricks I have up my sleeve.
I have a couple of travel projects existing as dry plans. "Just add water" - that is, just add some money for the actual booking and time for the travel and follow the directions for locations, transportation and itinerary.
I have patiently introduced Arthur to swimming and he is doing great, which means I can't pull him out now, but also need to find a way to bring Adrian to classes.
Von Zobel has booked a spring-summer trip to Europe, and the anticipation has already started for both of us. Just need to decide on a destinations for a few short trips within our vacation.
I think about all the things I want in New Year, all the new goals I need to set for myself now - and nothing comes to mind, apart from balancing all the things I am rushing into 2017 with and not letting a single thing drop out of my hands. I feel like I am already running at full speed and might need several months to get adjusted to new life style where I finally have what I wanted before I want... start to want anything else.
But then I still pencil down a couple of things - just so I don't forget. And then two more - in case an opportunity emerges. And before I know it I have 10 specific things I want to do next year. And in the next 5 days, I'm sure I will come up with even more ideas.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
In the past few days I managed to screw up some insane number of times, hurt myself, burn a plastic lid by accidentally turning on wrong over and ruin a pile of cleaning rugs by forgetting to take them out of washer for 2 days. Also broke a plastic board - this one for the sake of practice on the taekwondo class.
The bruise under the left eye is almost gone.
I have a pile of gifts for 3 toddlers to pack.
Somehow in this one morning I managed to buy box of crayons for Arthur's whole class, sign a gift tag for each box and stick a small chocolate to finish each of the 15 creations; followed by packing and signing gifts for Arthur's teachers. I sense the work will double in a year :)
Last Saturday afternoon I found myself at a baby shower of a friend (so amazingly organized by the way!) where I was literally seating in a room full of Accountants and Financiers. A very interesting feeling - to find myself in the club house of the community we have our condo at, but as a guest (rather than showing it to potential tenants) - and be among Russian-speaking females who work for banks, mortgage companies, public accounting, industry accounting... And have kids :) So stories about hardship of lives of working moms of 2 followed and could be pretty discouraging in the light of recent events had I not had made certain decisions for the next 5 years of my life.
The evening that followed though I found myself in quite a different company, but that of accomplished professionals too, and the conversations we had could not have been more reassuring and uplifting, including the parts needed to be read between the lines. Everybody struggles with bringing up children and no one knows what your biggest struggles will be; it is possible to have 3 children and have a great life; it is possible to have 4 children even and still have a great life (including great looks and a great Christmas tree); long years of self-development and growth as a professional - is very normal; managing many projects simultaneously- is very normal too.
My bruise works extremely well as a conversation starter, by the way, outshining the Christmas tree from a good layer of makeup. I should probably ask Arthur to hit me somewhere in the cheekbone in a couple of weeks.
The bruise under the left eye is almost gone.
I have a pile of gifts for 3 toddlers to pack.
Somehow in this one morning I managed to buy box of crayons for Arthur's whole class, sign a gift tag for each box and stick a small chocolate to finish each of the 15 creations; followed by packing and signing gifts for Arthur's teachers. I sense the work will double in a year :)
Last Saturday afternoon I found myself at a baby shower of a friend (so amazingly organized by the way!) where I was literally seating in a room full of Accountants and Financiers. A very interesting feeling - to find myself in the club house of the community we have our condo at, but as a guest (rather than showing it to potential tenants) - and be among Russian-speaking females who work for banks, mortgage companies, public accounting, industry accounting... And have kids :) So stories about hardship of lives of working moms of 2 followed and could be pretty discouraging in the light of recent events had I not had made certain decisions for the next 5 years of my life.
The evening that followed though I found myself in quite a different company, but that of accomplished professionals too, and the conversations we had could not have been more reassuring and uplifting, including the parts needed to be read between the lines. Everybody struggles with bringing up children and no one knows what your biggest struggles will be; it is possible to have 3 children and have a great life; it is possible to have 4 children even and still have a great life (including great looks and a great Christmas tree); long years of self-development and growth as a professional - is very normal; managing many projects simultaneously- is very normal too.
My bruise works extremely well as a conversation starter, by the way, outshining the Christmas tree from a good layer of makeup. I should probably ask Arthur to hit me somewhere in the cheekbone in a couple of weeks.
Friday, December 16, 2016
The office I have to go to for the interview is 20 minutes away
that is, not considering the traffic. In traffic the drive will be about an hour long. However, none of the locations in DTC, Greenwood Village or South Denver offer such a great position with 3 areas of specialization and flexible schedule.
I am ready for my job search to be over, to start spending my time in a much more productive way, to leverage the knowledge and experience I have. So this job looks like the right solution.
I just need to find a way to integrate my own tax practice into my new schedule. And Arthur's swimming classes. And my taekwondo lessons, - apart from gym that is. And I need to negotiate new work hours with the nanny, and find a way to cook a meal in 15 minutes and to clean the entire house in 1 hour, apparently... And right now I have no idea how I will manage to get there but I now I will, because now I only have 1 exam left and the studying is exhausting and tedious, and I have a black eye that is impossible to hide under make up now, even for the interview, and a shin splint which becomes worse now that I wear high heals, and I should have eaten something substantial before the interview - if only I had time. And everything around me becomes so heavy and tiresome, even that lead snow cloud that I'm driving under, that I almost feel tears dripping down the bruise concealing make up all the way to my blouse and trousers. As if what I really need right now to make this year complete is to burst into tears right during the interview.
But the harder and more confusing it becomes to navigate any segment of my life, the most certain it is that I will find all the right answers and put together the best strategy to get further. And to be honest, I prefer facing any difficulties and turbulence than being stuck at one point with no change at all. Swamp of routine is never good. Chaos - is somewhat a good sign though, a good start. I might not have a cheat sheet with all the right moves, and I do waste a great deal of my resources and every step up comes at a high price,- but at least 30 years down my life (almost) running up an ice hill still makes more practical sense than waiting for a right time and thus slowly gliding down.
A year from now I will look back and smile. I always do.
Chaos is definitely a good beginning.
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
When your 3 year old suddenly listens to you, but the moment is wrong.
- Mom, help me!
- Chinchill, get dressed. You do it well!
- No, help me!
- But you're big enough to do it yourself!
- No, I'm a little boy.
- Ok, I'll hold your pants for you. Jump in!
And at the moment I bent holding Dr. Chill's pants low for him, he came right below my face and actually jumped.
...He did accuse me or hurting him in the head with my face later. I was just happy my left eye was sparedand that a 3 year old can't actually sue his Mom for throwing her face on his head. He would have won. Nine months of exclusive breast feeding do show now when it comes to strength, brain and development.
...Told my Taekwondo instructor that my blackeye is the result of practicing the newly acquired MA skills, for a moment he seemed to have believed me. And I can't wait to get my uniform already so I can officially look like a kung fu panda :)
- Chinchill, get dressed. You do it well!
- No, help me!
- But you're big enough to do it yourself!
- No, I'm a little boy.
- Ok, I'll hold your pants for you. Jump in!
And at the moment I bent holding Dr. Chill's pants low for him, he came right below my face and actually jumped.
...He did accuse me or hurting him in the head with my face later. I was just happy my left eye was spared
...Told my Taekwondo instructor that my blackeye is the result of practicing the newly acquired MA skills, for a moment he seemed to have believed me. And I can't wait to get my uniform already so I can officially look like a kung fu panda :)
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Mum emerged at the horizon.
Crystalized out of thin air after a few years of not talking to me.
Saying she regretted not being a part of my life for so long, not taking interest in her grandsons or me, not reaching out to me with even a word of support or a piece of advice when I felt worst and needed some help most. Saying she not wants to come over and help with her grandsons, and watch them grow, and maybe start her life over at a new place, start a small seamstress/tailor business...
...Just kidding of course, all she wanted from me was money. Urgently.
Of course, now I am her "daughter and friend", and this time a fraudulent employer got her into trouble, and...
Damn! Where did I take a wrong turn in my life to have my own family sincerely approach me whenever they need financial support, time with my kids, assistance with property acquisition, help job search, banking... And what happens with their sincerity, niceness and sweetness during... other times? Bloody hell, these are not even relationships within Corporate America or the scope of those acquaintances that end up on Facebook for the benefit of mutual like'ing and vain superficial comments! Am I sending wrong signals? Am I sending wrong signals to everyone else too then? Making an impression of a go-to person for trivial stuff, a pair of actively listening ears, endless empathy? How would I even occur to somebody as a girl with a variety of unlimited resources? Time, emotional, psychological and intellectual resources in the first place, and I guess - some willingness to blow it all?
Saying she regretted not being a part of my life for so long, not taking interest in her grandsons or me, not reaching out to me with even a word of support or a piece of advice when I felt worst and needed some help most. Saying she not wants to come over and help with her grandsons, and watch them grow, and maybe start her life over at a new place, start a small seamstress/tailor business...
...Just kidding of course, all she wanted from me was money. Urgently.
Of course, now I am her "daughter and friend", and this time a fraudulent employer got her into trouble, and...
Damn! Where did I take a wrong turn in my life to have my own family sincerely approach me whenever they need financial support, time with my kids, assistance with property acquisition, help job search, banking... And what happens with their sincerity, niceness and sweetness during... other times? Bloody hell, these are not even relationships within Corporate America or the scope of those acquaintances that end up on Facebook for the benefit of mutual like'ing and vain superficial comments! Am I sending wrong signals? Am I sending wrong signals to everyone else too then? Making an impression of a go-to person for trivial stuff, a pair of actively listening ears, endless empathy? How would I even occur to somebody as a girl with a variety of unlimited resources? Time, emotional, psychological and intellectual resources in the first place, and I guess - some willingness to blow it all?
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Ok, I got it. It's a conspiracy.
The washer never really washes our dirty clothes, and they just appear to look spotless and smell fresh for a couple of days (1/2 day if they are chinchillas' pants or couple of hours if they are my gym tank tops and shorts) but soon expose their true soiled nature soon and end up in the dirty laundry pile. This is why our laundry basket is always full even a day after a full load washing. It's a conspiracy.
Same with dirty dishes, cups and cutlery - it's a conspiracy, or a pandemic - as soon as you start running a fully loaded dishwasher - more glasses and plates will be discovered. As soon as you hand-wash toddler sippy cups or bottles - they will appear in every corner of the house, with milk, compot or water in them.
If you've picked all leaves from the ground in your backyard - the moment you tie the 7th trash bag and walk inside the house - more leaves will crawl over the fence over your neighbors' backyards straight into yours. Or maybe as the darkness falls - they go through the entire growth cycle over again during the night to fall by morning. This seems to be the only explanation on why fallen leaves in our backyard never end.
The fridge eats most of the food we put in it. Otherwise - where's all our food I buy and cook?! Does the trunk of my car absorb some on the way home? Is there a collusion between them?
Dust and crumbs on the floors just clone themselves non-stop. Otherwise - how can the colour of the water from washing the floor and the ample contents of the vacuum cleaner be explained?
Most important of all - there's a magnetic anomaly six feet below our house: it acts as a magnet to toys and any interesting items within reach of both Chinchillas. As soon as everything in house is in place - the magnet starts working again and soon toys, my studying materials, bottles of shampoo and body wash from the shower, dental floss, chalk, shoes - are all over the place. It's a force of nature. Definitely.
Same with dirty dishes, cups and cutlery - it's a conspiracy, or a pandemic - as soon as you start running a fully loaded dishwasher - more glasses and plates will be discovered. As soon as you hand-wash toddler sippy cups or bottles - they will appear in every corner of the house, with milk, compot or water in them.
If you've picked all leaves from the ground in your backyard - the moment you tie the 7th trash bag and walk inside the house - more leaves will crawl over the fence over your neighbors' backyards straight into yours. Or maybe as the darkness falls - they go through the entire growth cycle over again during the night to fall by morning. This seems to be the only explanation on why fallen leaves in our backyard never end.
The fridge eats most of the food we put in it. Otherwise - where's all our food I buy and cook?! Does the trunk of my car absorb some on the way home? Is there a collusion between them?
Dust and crumbs on the floors just clone themselves non-stop. Otherwise - how can the colour of the water from washing the floor and the ample contents of the vacuum cleaner be explained?
Most important of all - there's a magnetic anomaly six feet below our house: it acts as a magnet to toys and any interesting items within reach of both Chinchillas. As soon as everything in house is in place - the magnet starts working again and soon toys, my studying materials, bottles of shampoo and body wash from the shower, dental floss, chalk, shoes - are all over the place. It's a force of nature. Definitely.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Post-election. Day 1.
My day started at 4.35 in the morning (courtesy of Chinchilla Jr) and it was fun to watch Internet go crazy then already. Adequate people turning into drama queens, throwing vain promises, emphasizing meaningless opinions and foregoing facts. All out of sudden the world feels like it's not just a freaking manager of a country has been elected on a 4-year contract basis, but a point of no return has been reached for the entire mankind. It's amusing how close to heart people take the results of the election, and irritating to see how much time and energy they spent on whining, complaining and projecting gloom and doom.
Funny how quiet everybody was this morning. Gym was awkwardly soundless, no usual chit-chatting, and people on treadmills, elliptical and bicycles were staring at the screens watching culinary shows, movies - not the actual news though! (Colorado voted for Hillary).
No discussions of the results in the changing room. Quiet.
Uneasiness in the air at the library - I had to use their Copy - a librarian I asked a question almost whispered the answer to me. No discussions, no mentioning of anything.
Driving to Granite Tower in the Downtown - people are jumpy, careless. On the bright note- the construction on Business School building of UC Denver is nearly finished :) Going up to the 28th floor I see for the first time mentioning of Trump's twits on the screen in the elevator TV. Recruiter's office - no small talk; unless a receptionist answers the phone, it is quiet.
At daycare - no jokes, no comments about the Elections between the parents or the teachers. There had been none even with our nanny this morning!
And so throughout the town - no discussion of "last night". Denial? Anger? Trying to bargain - coming up next?
Funny how quiet everybody was this morning. Gym was awkwardly soundless, no usual chit-chatting, and people on treadmills, elliptical and bicycles were staring at the screens watching culinary shows, movies - not the actual news though! (Colorado voted for Hillary).
No discussions of the results in the changing room. Quiet.
Uneasiness in the air at the library - I had to use their Copy - a librarian I asked a question almost whispered the answer to me. No discussions, no mentioning of anything.
Driving to Granite Tower in the Downtown - people are jumpy, careless. On the bright note- the construction on Business School building of UC Denver is nearly finished :) Going up to the 28th floor I see for the first time mentioning of Trump's twits on the screen in the elevator TV. Recruiter's office - no small talk; unless a receptionist answers the phone, it is quiet.
At daycare - no jokes, no comments about the Elections between the parents or the teachers. There had been none even with our nanny this morning!
And so throughout the town - no discussion of "last night". Denial? Anger? Trying to bargain - coming up next?
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Came to Bonfils after not-so-smooth morning
with not-so-smooth news, and the reception lady told me I should have received my 1 Gallon donor badge on my last donation. And she did give me a badge that did read "1 Gallon Donor" (which made me picture a plastic 1 gallon milk jug filled with blood). There was something funny and comforting about it :)
Got another article published by ReFresh School - this one on making time, playing with a couple of potential new topics in my mind now. ReFresh has also published my short profile in social media while I was in FL - extremely nice of them!
Went to a corporate Cooking Class event with Von Zobel. Being in a industrial kitchen was quite a throw back to Glion days. The company in the kitchen and wine made quite a difference though :) In fact there was such a substantial amount of wine consumed that night, the good shape of the participants could have probably been attributed in greatest part to the French cuisine with its abundance of butter - we had on the menu ( slash - cooking instructions). Almost felt jealous to a lady I met on the even who had 2 sets of twins (3 years apart). 2 sets of twins!! My pregnancies would have been twice as productive now, and there would have been no vital life decisions to be made! :)(Dear Royal Family, what are your plans on Royal Baby 3#?)
On Saturday we made it out to a concert of ex-Moscow String quartet, which is a trio now, bringing in the Cello and 1st Violin from the Quartet. Shame. We could never make it to their last performance as a quartet. Almost felt jealous again - to Rachmaninov this time :) as well as for all those who have an undoubted talent that - apart from creating - helps them expressing their feelings, going through tough times, keeping their sanity and self-awareness at the same time.
Time to develop at least one talent. I have a lot to say :)
Got another article published by ReFresh School - this one on making time, playing with a couple of potential new topics in my mind now. ReFresh has also published my short profile in social media while I was in FL - extremely nice of them!
Went to a corporate Cooking Class event with Von Zobel. Being in a industrial kitchen was quite a throw back to Glion days. The company in the kitchen and wine made quite a difference though :) In fact there was such a substantial amount of wine consumed that night, the good shape of the participants could have probably been attributed in greatest part to the French cuisine with its abundance of butter - we had on the menu ( slash - cooking instructions). Almost felt jealous to a lady I met on the even who had 2 sets of twins (3 years apart). 2 sets of twins!! My pregnancies would have been twice as productive now, and there would have been no vital life decisions to be made! :)
On Saturday we made it out to a concert of ex-Moscow String quartet, which is a trio now, bringing in the Cello and 1st Violin from the Quartet. Shame. We could never make it to their last performance as a quartet. Almost felt jealous again - to Rachmaninov this time :) as well as for all those who have an undoubted talent that - apart from creating - helps them expressing their feelings, going through tough times, keeping their sanity and self-awareness at the same time.
Time to develop at least one talent. I have a lot to say :)
Friday, October 28, 2016
Anna Maria - definitely a great place to live a quiet, slow-paced life.
Although Chinchillas tend to disagree and use a brief family vacation for running around by ocean-side, scream (especially when refusing to go too close to the ocean) and enjoying the pool. The latter though, seems to have been their favourite pastime: splashing in the pool completely naked and running around the pool with one toy or another, also... aerating their bottoms. Ocean, beach buckets and towels, sea shells - we're just like a real family on a beach vacation now.
And 3 hour flight feels like a piece of cake now after almost 24 total hours spent in International traveling each way this summer!
As for Von Zobel and I, we finally tried bicycles with child chariots - and they did turn out to be a fun and convenient way to get around the island with kids. Apart from all the loading and unloading the kids, and buckling them up, of course - Chinchillas did not enjoy this either. Should we buy a couple in Colorado though, we would stick to riding mountain bikes with hand-brakes (yes, our bicycles in FL were old-fashioned!), but the little "honking" parrots on the wheel were a good idea and made Chinchillas laugh.
And 3 hour flight feels like a piece of cake now after almost 24 total hours spent in International traveling each way this summer!
As for Von Zobel and I, we finally tried bicycles with child chariots - and they did turn out to be a fun and convenient way to get around the island with kids. Apart from all the loading and unloading the kids, and buckling them up, of course - Chinchillas did not enjoy this either. Should we buy a couple in Colorado though, we would stick to riding mountain bikes with hand-brakes (yes, our bicycles in FL were old-fashioned!), but the little "honking" parrots on the wheel were a good idea and made Chinchillas laugh.
Friday, October 21, 2016
A Full-bodied polar fox.
Lyolik telegrammed it to me the other day, with a brief annotation Полный Песец , which was such a great laconic description of my life right now I could not help setting it as my laptop desktop.
*****
Sometimes it becomes hard to just pull myself up off the floor and go and do anything useful at all.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
In the midst of job search.
Funny enough, the most interesting, promising and juicy positions are in the middle of nowhere. Near Broadway and the 17th, that is. Recruiters are aggressive and email almost daily. Companies in search of personnel email daily in and out of sequence, offers being from staff accountant to manager of logistics.
Employers inquire about Excel skills - Pivot table & V-lookup.
Recruiters sound exited about Customer Relations and Project Management experience.
I am being aggressive in my inquiries about salary, benefits, location and flexibility. That must have come with experience. And because I have no other choice but to make it work my way, probably.
Employers want a plain AP/AR person, to be compensated accordingly.
Recruiters encourage to come to them for applications to any worthy position, since they have vast network of growing and high net-worth clients, and to never submit application to the same position more than once (wasn't it how I got my first official job? Three times was a charm...)
I keep thinking of how to integrate a full-time demanding position into my life schedule, or rather - how to construct a new schedule where there would be time for meetings, business trips, toddler swimming lessons, parents' nights at kindergarten and ways to take care of my boys when they are sick without compromising my professional attitude at work.
Employers say "Hey, we have a Sales Managers position at our Insurance Company you might be interested in!"
Recruiters say "Hey, we are going to send your resume to an Oil&Gas company"
I say "No, thank you". "Yes, thank you!". Can't waste any more time. Can't waste any more time on something that I won't be able to leverage in the next 5 years.
Employers inquire about Excel skills - Pivot table & V-lookup.
Recruiters sound exited about Customer Relations and Project Management experience.
I am being aggressive in my inquiries about salary, benefits, location and flexibility. That must have come with experience. And because I have no other choice but to make it work my way, probably.
Employers want a plain AP/AR person, to be compensated accordingly.
Recruiters encourage to come to them for applications to any worthy position, since they have vast network of growing and high net-worth clients, and to never submit application to the same position more than once (wasn't it how I got my first official job? Three times was a charm...)
I keep thinking of how to integrate a full-time demanding position into my life schedule, or rather - how to construct a new schedule where there would be time for meetings, business trips, toddler swimming lessons, parents' nights at kindergarten and ways to take care of my boys when they are sick without compromising my professional attitude at work.
Employers say "Hey, we have a Sales Managers position at our Insurance Company you might be interested in!"
Recruiters say "Hey, we are going to send your resume to an Oil&Gas company"
I say "No, thank you". "Yes, thank you!". Can't waste any more time. Can't waste any more time on something that I won't be able to leverage in the next 5 years.
Monday, October 10, 2016
I hardly ever have repeating dreams.
If I ever had, I can't remember them now.
Now, twice this week with slight variations, I've seen myself coming to an interview in some 20+ floor office building; second time - a hotel, but still being somewhere on 20+ floor. The interview goes as normal, but for some reason I bring in my teal laptop bag full of my lehrstoff, the bag is heavy as usual, but I keep carrying it on my shoulder as the interviewer shows me around after the interview. And once we say goodbye and I walk outside I find myself walking on a glass floor, above the offices, next to the building's wall but with no wall outside.
I walk till I see there is no exit on this side, neither a way to get back inside the building and turn around to go back.
But by this time the width of glass ledge is only about a third of what it used to be.
I keep walking, and this time there is no way to get back into the building at all, as the ledge is getting more and more narrow as I walk until finally my laptop bag starts to gets hit by the wind gusts and pull me down and make me start losing my balance.
In the second dream though, a woman, another interviewee appears behind a window to ask how my interview was and say good bye. I can't help thinking what a moron she is - seeing that I can neither move on the thin ledge anymore - in my high heals and a heavy bag, but not offering any help. So I smile and ask her ironically:
- Could I please trouble you with opening this window?
She shrugs, face is blank. Clearly, she can't understand why I would ask her that.
- If that's so crucial for you...
"Of course it's crucial for me!" - I think, annoyed. Try not to fall down while she opens the window out - right above my head, barely manage to lift up my heavy laptop bag and start to climb in.
Now, twice this week with slight variations, I've seen myself coming to an interview in some 20+ floor office building; second time - a hotel, but still being somewhere on 20+ floor. The interview goes as normal, but for some reason I bring in my teal laptop bag full of my lehrstoff, the bag is heavy as usual, but I keep carrying it on my shoulder as the interviewer shows me around after the interview. And once we say goodbye and I walk outside I find myself walking on a glass floor, above the offices, next to the building's wall but with no wall outside.
I walk till I see there is no exit on this side, neither a way to get back inside the building and turn around to go back.
But by this time the width of glass ledge is only about a third of what it used to be.
I keep walking, and this time there is no way to get back into the building at all, as the ledge is getting more and more narrow as I walk until finally my laptop bag starts to gets hit by the wind gusts and pull me down and make me start losing my balance.
In the second dream though, a woman, another interviewee appears behind a window to ask how my interview was and say good bye. I can't help thinking what a moron she is - seeing that I can neither move on the thin ledge anymore - in my high heals and a heavy bag, but not offering any help. So I smile and ask her ironically:
- Could I please trouble you with opening this window?
She shrugs, face is blank. Clearly, she can't understand why I would ask her that.
- If that's so crucial for you...
"Of course it's crucial for me!" - I think, annoyed. Try not to fall down while she opens the window out - right above my head, barely manage to lift up my heavy laptop bag and start to climb in.
Friday, September 30, 2016
Little Steps to just moderate progress
When after having cried and screamed "Mama no!!" for 10 minutes in the pool, your three year old finally masters jumping into your arms from the side of the pool, and smiles, and glances proudly at the baby girls nearby.
When after 2 days of having mental meltdowns and being enormously tired you see that Audit problems finally start to make sense and the scores begin to go up.
When having just recovered off to the whole family cold Marathon you can run your daily 5k again, even with that uneasiness in lungs.
When your 15 month old's bottom left molar finally shows and he can sleep through the night without painkillers, and even go through the day without teething tablets, crying in pain and trying to lay his head on your shoulder and whine every time you pick him up.
When instead of running away after 3 minutes of listening to you reading a book before bed, your 3 year old reaches out to his shelf, grabs "Buratino" and asks you to read him. And then listens for half a dozen pages.
Found on smb's FB account. Note sure about credits :)
Monday, September 19, 2016
This beautiful sunny morning my native country
has given me yet another wonderful gift: a six-meter high fence. Simply speaking, Russian PM and ex-president has blocked me on Twitter.
My best guess is that was somehow supposed to teach me a lesson in how to ask a politician uncomfortable questions in public place (social media). Yep.
My best guess #2 is that many people who know me personally would love to be able to mute me in critical moments simply by pushing a button.
My best guess is that was somehow supposed to teach me a lesson in how to ask a politician uncomfortable questions in public place (social media). Yep.
My best guess #2 is that many people who know me personally would love to be able to mute me in critical moments simply by pushing a button.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Amoung that dozen of books I got on Library book sale for just only $20 (mainly for Chill Sr)
I bought a small hardcover edition of Orwell's Animal Farm and finally got to read it. Sad, predictable, very sad and very predictable. I wonder why we have never hear of it in our Literature classes in school, let alone it being part of the school program. The 90-ies were the perfect time for studying works of this kind in school - things would have probably been different now, had our generation been raised able to be self-conscious, reasonable, critically thinking and analytical.
By the way, I still love book sales and am so happy to see book sales as part of US's culture and events! This time I tripped over Bulgakov, books of beginner's Japanese and Latin (seriously?! When would I have time for all this?), bunch of country travel guides... had to restrain myself and take none of that, of course :) I still sometimes joke of having had a "hungry childhood" when being pointed at my excessive love for fresh fruit and veggies or some peculiar gastronomic preferences... but I definitely always had books in abundance as a kid - more in our home library than I ever read, - yet here I am :)
By the way, I still love book sales and am so happy to see book sales as part of US's culture and events! This time I tripped over Bulgakov, books of beginner's Japanese and Latin (seriously?! When would I have time for all this?), bunch of country travel guides... had to restrain myself and take none of that, of course :) I still sometimes joke of having had a "hungry childhood" when being pointed at my excessive love for fresh fruit and veggies or some peculiar gastronomic preferences... but I definitely always had books in abundance as a kid - more in our home library than I ever read, - yet here I am :)
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
HIghlights of August.
Studied for Audit like there's no tomorrow. Came to the exam to discover the system logged me out and would not allow override from any of the Prometrics staff. No, my login was not hijacked by a CPA-test-taking genius who decided to pass the test for me :) Lost some of the planned-for time + concentration waiting though...
While donating blood got into a conversation with a Bonfils staff member over politics, volunteering and education. Specifically, he turned out to enjoy watching videos of Putin finding him interesting and funny. Later, with a typical American self-awareness, embarrassment and apple-pie-ishness he complained how the world history in American schools is still biased towards American participation in key world events and wars. I had to reveal the level of knowledge (or ignorance) the majority of Russians of well post-school-age still have about the USSR's involvement into WW2, the allies' involvement and the amount of help offered to USSR during WW2 - even Von Zobel's grandma's name and story came up, and the fact Russia still has a whole separate WW2 dates, history and even a V-Day.
Chinchilla Sr started daycare, 3 days a week . It goes unexpectedly well so far: girls in his class come to him in the morning to ask: "What's your name?", "How old are you?" or "Do you like my dress?", the teachers are learning Russian, Chill is giggling at the teachers suddenly switching over to Russian for him (as in "Net!", "Nel'zya" & "Ne trogai!" - being the first things they learned), Chill seems to have taken monopoly over the communal watering can and enjoys watering their little garden, and when I come to pick him up - he beams, runs to get his lunchbox and the bottle from the classroom, packs himself in his car seat, grumps "Gde min'-min'?!" ("Где ремень?!" - where's the seat belt?) as he's looking for the seat belt and fastens himself, demands "Mom, give me juice!" and as soon as he gets a pack of organic juice - he's all ready for the trip home. He has started to twit more on the way home about things he did that day.
He also had his 3rd Birthday celebration; two actually - the latter smaller one was for family only. This year he did enjoy running around and doing activities with other kids at the kids center, blowing out the candles on the cake (so much he accidentally did it a couple of times for the co-Birthday boy we shared the party with) and playing with the balloons. Chinchilla Jr. surprised everybody at the party by dancing with a balloon in each hand - as if it was his Birthday :)
Another unexpectedly good thing was that I did not lose shape much after Europe, and went back into my morning 5K routine pretty quickly. Thinking about increasing this number to 10: gradually, very gradually...
In the end of this month I crossed out the old goals for this year and wrote down just 5 ones, but more precise and much, much more crazier ones.
While donating blood got into a conversation with a Bonfils staff member over politics, volunteering and education. Specifically, he turned out to enjoy watching videos of Putin finding him interesting and funny. Later, with a typical American self-awareness, embarrassment and apple-pie-ishness he complained how the world history in American schools is still biased towards American participation in key world events and wars. I had to reveal the level of knowledge (or ignorance) the majority of Russians of well post-school-age still have about the USSR's involvement into WW2, the allies' involvement and the amount of help offered to USSR during WW2 - even Von Zobel's grandma's name and story came up, and the fact Russia still has a whole separate WW2 dates, history and even a V-Day.
Chinchilla Sr started daycare, 3 days a week . It goes unexpectedly well so far: girls in his class come to him in the morning to ask: "What's your name?", "How old are you?" or "Do you like my dress?", the teachers are learning Russian, Chill is giggling at the teachers suddenly switching over to Russian for him (as in "Net!", "Nel'zya" & "Ne trogai!" - being the first things they learned), Chill seems to have taken monopoly over the communal watering can and enjoys watering their little garden, and when I come to pick him up - he beams, runs to get his lunchbox and the bottle from the classroom, packs himself in his car seat, grumps "Gde min'-min'?!" ("Где ремень?!" - where's the seat belt?) as he's looking for the seat belt and fastens himself, demands "Mom, give me juice!" and as soon as he gets a pack of organic juice - he's all ready for the trip home. He has started to twit more on the way home about things he did that day.
He also had his 3rd Birthday celebration; two actually - the latter smaller one was for family only. This year he did enjoy running around and doing activities with other kids at the kids center, blowing out the candles on the cake (so much he accidentally did it a couple of times for the co-Birthday boy we shared the party with) and playing with the balloons. Chinchilla Jr. surprised everybody at the party by dancing with a balloon in each hand - as if it was his Birthday :)
Another unexpectedly good thing was that I did not lose shape much after Europe, and went back into my morning 5K routine pretty quickly. Thinking about increasing this number to 10: gradually, very gradually...
In the end of this month I crossed out the old goals for this year and wrote down just 5 ones, but more precise and much, much more crazier ones.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
The truth about transatlantic travelling with 2 toddlers is that
at some point you can find yourself carrying a suitcase and a bad and fighting with a (nearly) 3 year old who wants to pull a carryon suitcase his weight and almost his size. Or - carrying 3 bags and having an exhausted 1 y.o. passing out in your arms, so you have to carry him as well because the airline insisted on checking in the stroller at the same time as the rest of the baggage and not by the gate.
The flight to Reykjavik thus did not go too well: chinchillas were exhausted, angry, throwing tentrums in the plane and completely unable to sleep and unwilling to play. The flight in Reykjavik was delayed and we got some extra time to enjoy overcrowded space with overfilled trash bins from which chinchillas constantly tried to pull something out and either put in their mouths or pretend to do so to see parents' reaction(always negative).
Coming back to my town-base is always great: I get transportation flexibility and (relative) freedom of movement within the town, the variety of food that works for us and ability to get it any time, and this year I absolutely appreciate my kids sleeping in a house where an A/C can go on on a hot night, and going back to my gym again! Yep, the little joys of middle class :)
The weather is still very nice, the tomatoes are ripening and the outdoor pool is still open to kids' fun and enjoyment!
The flight to Reykjavik thus did not go too well: chinchillas were exhausted, angry, throwing tentrums in the plane and completely unable to sleep and unwilling to play. The flight in Reykjavik was delayed and we got some extra time to enjoy overcrowded space with overfilled trash bins from which chinchillas constantly tried to pull something out and either put in their mouths or pretend to do so to see parents' reaction(always negative).
Coming back to my town-base is always great: I get transportation flexibility and (relative) freedom of movement within the town, the variety of food that works for us and ability to get it any time, and this year I absolutely appreciate my kids sleeping in a house where an A/C can go on on a hot night, and going back to my gym again! Yep, the little joys of middle class :)
The weather is still very nice, the tomatoes are ripening and the outdoor pool is still open to kids' fun and enjoyment!
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Slovenia of this year is hot, beautiful and delicious
Although energy and time consuming at times too - this being vacations with 2 toddlers and 2 parents. The Bled lake is beautiful and absolutely unchanged in the past 2 years; Chinchilla Sr went into his bell-loving phase, identifying every church on our way as "Kolokol! Bom-bom!". Chinchilla Jr is running around fearlessly (all the fear having being transferred to his mother who is trying to catch him by the collar before he dives into the lake), falling down and trying to snack on something dirty - the dirtier the yummier! Both kiddos are happy with the routine of walks, swimming pool, playgrounds and good food. Besides, the need taught them how to share the Bob stroller and a waffle ice-cream cone. And I realized how un-used I got to playgrounds with pieces of broken glass, cigarette butts and shiny candy bar and ice-cream wraps. And yes, apparently no one considers bringing toys to playground either :)
The Lake Bled holidays reminded me of typical European fests with... a bunch of everything and a crowd of people on top of that :) Found a new great restaurant near the lake. Managed to use local buses to get back to the village from the lake: if you're alone with 2 little kids, either a bright smile to the driver or looking worn out by two kids will qualify you for driver's full help with loading and unloading the stroller.
Got some weird unidentifiable stomach virus, which led me to involvement with Slovenian healthcare system, having my passport taken from the ER room by mistake (!) by some US boy (!!) that the ER personnel had no contact info with (!!!). Got the best medical advice form the doctor on duty: "Enjoy life and be happy!". I wonder if it bears a connection with my physician conclusion that I do not rest enough and should absolutely start sleeping more?..
All in all - a very interesting experience - spending over a month abroad, and that's over 10% of the year. Where will it go from here?
The Lake Bled holidays reminded me of typical European fests with... a bunch of everything and a crowd of people on top of that :) Found a new great restaurant near the lake. Managed to use local buses to get back to the village from the lake: if you're alone with 2 little kids, either a bright smile to the driver or looking worn out by two kids will qualify you for driver's full help with loading and unloading the stroller.
Got some weird unidentifiable stomach virus, which led me to involvement with Slovenian healthcare system, having my passport taken from the ER room by mistake (!) by some US boy (!!) that the ER personnel had no contact info with (!!!). Got the best medical advice form the doctor on duty: "Enjoy life and be happy!". I wonder if it bears a connection with my physician conclusion that I do not rest enough and should absolutely start sleeping more?..
All in all - a very interesting experience - spending over a month abroad, and that's over 10% of the year. Where will it go from here?
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Graz was on our travel list for quite some time,
So we were glad we could finally make it there.
Having spent a day in Graz (+ all the driving time to Austria and back) we did not make it to absolutely all sights and museums we wanted to visit, however managed to fit it quite a bit: climbed up all the way to Schlossberg, wandered along the shady alleys tried to find US & Canada on the plastic shields on the top of the castle pointing to various cities, but could not and concluded the directions were depicted in the 13th century before Americas were discovered.
Took pictures of the Clock (Glock) tower from different angles from the top, walked downhill and took pictures from different angles from the bottom of the hill. Then caught a group of pleasant German-speaking ladies and asked them to take some more pictures of the Clock-tower with all four of us.
Scared a café waiter (as well as the rest of our group) by my German. Scared myself with the thought that although the waiter did ultimately understand me, I had just uttered an Americanism in German, for "Wir sind fertig fur die Rechnung" say the Germans not.
Cooled down in Mausoleum and climbed up vintage stairs to yet another Tower with bells. I could not help taking pictures of BOMMM! for Chinchilla Sr, he's going through his bell phase.
Dropped by a pharmacy, left with a bag of sleep, cold and immune support remedies.
On the whole Graz gives an impression of a typical town that used to be pretty well-off to have its center done in beautiful architectural style, and with quality good enough to last hundreds of years. While the parts remote from the center might not be that interesting, the proximity to the center does reveal the contrast of the streets and squares being more spacious, and the houses - more interesting in ornaments and brighter in colours.
Having spent a day in Graz (+ all the driving time to Austria and back) we did not make it to absolutely all sights and museums we wanted to visit, however managed to fit it quite a bit: climbed up all the way to Schlossberg, wandered along the shady alleys tried to find US & Canada on the plastic shields on the top of the castle pointing to various cities, but could not and concluded the directions were depicted in the 13th century before Americas were discovered.
Took pictures of the Clock (Glock) tower from different angles from the top, walked downhill and took pictures from different angles from the bottom of the hill. Then caught a group of pleasant German-speaking ladies and asked them to take some more pictures of the Clock-tower with all four of us.
Scared a café waiter (as well as the rest of our group) by my German. Scared myself with the thought that although the waiter did ultimately understand me, I had just uttered an Americanism in German, for "Wir sind fertig fur die Rechnung" say the Germans not.
Cooled down in Mausoleum and climbed up vintage stairs to yet another Tower with bells. I could not help taking pictures of BOMMM! for Chinchilla Sr, he's going through his bell phase.
Dropped by a pharmacy, left with a bag of sleep, cold and immune support remedies.
Dropped by Hoffbackerei Edegger-Tax, left two strudels.
Rushed to the Glockenspiel to see the figures dance. Left thinking each one of us could do better dancing after such a huge stein of beer.
Found on the map Toys R Us (!!!) just 7 minutes away from the Graz center, rushed there, came back within an hour with half a dozen of toys, sidewalk chalk, toddler bottle and a teether. I was greatly impressed by their inventory, and not as impressed by their prices...
Had time left to have another 0.5 l beer.On the whole Graz gives an impression of a typical town that used to be pretty well-off to have its center done in beautiful architectural style, and with quality good enough to last hundreds of years. While the parts remote from the center might not be that interesting, the proximity to the center does reveal the contrast of the streets and squares being more spacious, and the houses - more interesting in ornaments and brighter in colours.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Udine is completely full of tourists
and does look like a good mix of Rome and Venize (just as tourists guides warned us!). In fact, as you cross the border (hm, absolutely no one at the border on Saturday morning) you can tell you are in a different country.
The city center is clean, hot and hosts a nice flee market. We walk around glancing at some interesting items: some Russian china and tableware, souvenir mock Faberge eggs, binoculars and flasks with Nazi cross?.. I do wonder who would buy such things even in this part of the world.
The stores are packed with people. We end up stocking up clothes (while time permits) in large stores carrying both men's and women's clothing - to get our tax free paperwork completed :)
A granny in the coffee shop we got our first shot of double espresso/cappuccino in seems to understand my Italian and gives me a sweet smile. The owner of a little basement-type café in a little street just steps away from the shops barely understands English and does not speak a word of it, so with some help of our limited Italian and improvised sign language we end up with great wine and a simple but delicious mortadella sandwich. By the way, you could kill somebody with that huge stick of motradella...
Gelatto is yummy, just like Slovenian. Sprits in the little café above a creek we have our light lunch at - are a killer. Literally, whatever they add to it that looks like soda and not proseco - is not soda at all. I realize it when we start talking about a couple of German cyclists that join the rest of their group late, I suggest that's because they got lost driving around a krožišče and I totally lose it.
On the way back home I keep thinking that it's a shame we won't make it to Florence this time.
The city center is clean, hot and hosts a nice flee market. We walk around glancing at some interesting items: some Russian china and tableware, souvenir mock Faberge eggs, binoculars and flasks with Nazi cross?.. I do wonder who would buy such things even in this part of the world.
The stores are packed with people. We end up stocking up clothes (while time permits) in large stores carrying both men's and women's clothing - to get our tax free paperwork completed :)
A granny in the coffee shop we got our first shot of double espresso/cappuccino in seems to understand my Italian and gives me a sweet smile. The owner of a little basement-type café in a little street just steps away from the shops barely understands English and does not speak a word of it, so with some help of our limited Italian and improvised sign language we end up with great wine and a simple but delicious mortadella sandwich. By the way, you could kill somebody with that huge stick of motradella...
Gelatto is yummy, just like Slovenian. Sprits in the little café above a creek we have our light lunch at - are a killer. Literally, whatever they add to it that looks like soda and not proseco - is not soda at all. I realize it when we start talking about a couple of German cyclists that join the rest of their group late, I suggest that's because they got lost driving around a krožišče and I totally lose it.
On the way back home I keep thinking that it's a shame we won't make it to Florence this time.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Jurmala turned out to be a very interesting place:
although much as to what I was expecting from just seeing videos and pictures of the town, the actual town spirit was an interesting mix of late 90-s early 2000-s of the post-Soviet area and modern Eastern Europe. The beach is Sochi-long, but unlike Sochi is a sand beach (hot sand!) and is followed by a stripe of pine forest along the shore. I do not think I have ever swum in a sea while enjoying strong pine smell floating above water. By the number of ice-cream booths and stands Jurmala can compete with Venice and its gelato stores at this time of year. People are nice. The hospitality of our hosts is beyond description.
A long conversation with people of our generation about jobs and unemployment, government and politics, local view or EU vs Russia and high expectations of the Land of Great Opportunities is very informative and extremely thought provoking. A long conversation with people of slightly older generation about the economics, politics, doing business in EU and globally is, well, very informative too!
Riga is a little cute gingerbread town to be crissed-crossed for a day, especially with a great guide such as one we had. Looking back it is it hard to believe how much we managed to stuff into this one day: from the main city attractions to driving through the Moscow Vorstadt (all sprinkled generously with historic information, gossip, anecdotes and jokes), to the Riga Central Market (beer with cannabis, anyone?), to real Uzbek food (never thought chebureki could be that delicious. How do they manage to pour broth inside??). A separate highlight of the trip to the market was that the gift to us - a "dream of an immigrant" bag filled with "taste of nostalgia" fish products worth of 8kg - safely made it to Slovenia.
A long conversation with people of our generation about jobs and unemployment, government and politics, local view or EU vs Russia and high expectations of the Land of Great Opportunities is very informative and extremely thought provoking. A long conversation with people of slightly older generation about the economics, politics, doing business in EU and globally is, well, very informative too!
Riga is a little cute gingerbread town to be crissed-crossed for a day, especially with a great guide such as one we had. Looking back it is it hard to believe how much we managed to stuff into this one day: from the main city attractions to driving through the Moscow Vorstadt (all sprinkled generously with historic information, gossip, anecdotes and jokes), to the Riga Central Market (beer with cannabis, anyone?), to real Uzbek food (never thought chebureki could be that delicious. How do they manage to pour broth inside??). A separate highlight of the trip to the market was that the gift to us - a "dream of an immigrant" bag filled with "taste of nostalgia" fish products worth of 8kg - safely made it to Slovenia.
Monday, June 13, 2016
One extremely stupid thing to do
Is to schedule blood donation following a morning appointment with a pediatrician, and before an elaborate tour of errands and a 5K run. Especially if you accidentally forget to schedule time to eat and forget to replenish lost fluids along the way as well.
I haven't felt so dizzy in a long time; while I've been feeling lightheaded for the past 6 months, finding myself in a state of nearly losing consciousness in gym's shower today without a soul around to ask for help - was particularly bad. Apparently my next step would be setting reminders to have a snack or some water during the day...
On the bright side, I witnessed an amazing thing at Bonfils today. While doing the questionnaire I noticed a lot of walk ins with no appointments, in fact, so many Bonfils could not accommodate them all! Typically, it's just me waiting and a couple of mid-aged men or women with an appointment; today people walking in were pretty diverse. Having asked a staff member about the reason for such a high number of walk ins, I was told it was all due to the Orlando shooting. Turns out Bonfils's announcement about the need for more blood for the shooting victims brought in quite a few volunteers who wanted to help those in serious condition - instantaneously!
Truly remarkable and amazing.
I haven't felt so dizzy in a long time; while I've been feeling lightheaded for the past 6 months, finding myself in a state of nearly losing consciousness in gym's shower today without a soul around to ask for help - was particularly bad. Apparently my next step would be setting reminders to have a snack or some water during the day...
On the bright side, I witnessed an amazing thing at Bonfils today. While doing the questionnaire I noticed a lot of walk ins with no appointments, in fact, so many Bonfils could not accommodate them all! Typically, it's just me waiting and a couple of mid-aged men or women with an appointment; today people walking in were pretty diverse. Having asked a staff member about the reason for such a high number of walk ins, I was told it was all due to the Orlando shooting. Turns out Bonfils's announcement about the need for more blood for the shooting victims brought in quite a few volunteers who wanted to help those in serious condition - instantaneously!
Truly remarkable and amazing.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
If there's only one good thing about being a witness to a nasty online fight
between a group of... women who howl about all the difficulties of being a women in the modern world and a group of women and men who push back with "oh, why being so negative?" and "let me just tell you about all the problems men have" respectively - it's the happy realization on how lucky I am not to think in such terms and not to live in a world where there is always some fat bully above me just waiting for the next chance to ruin my life.
Not that I live in the perfect world of sunshine, rainbows, puppies, zero gender pay gap and adequate maternity support - I have had my experience with job loss following having a child, being pushed around by male colleagues and managers who did not know what was going on in the department close to how well I knew it (parce que c'est il qui "porte le cravate" (c) ), was approached with random offers of sex by random men and was denied a bank account opening and apartment rental... no, wait, the last two actually occurred due to my origin, not gender :) But I absolutely can not understand how bashing men online for something they screwed up years ago can help improve somebody's life. And having a thread of dozens of comments where anyone is trying to out-misery everybody else with her own miserable experience indicates there's clearly something more than mere venting going on. Men can never understand us because they don't get pregnant, give birth or "even bleed every month" <sic>. Right. How much more can this fact ruin your life?
I can handle the feeling of "life is not fair" coming around every couple of months and always being replaced by the feeling of "I'ma show you how great I am"(c), but I can't possibly imagine living 24/7, year after year feeling insignificant, misunderstood, ignored, abused, used... Growing this feeling inside me, nurturing it, giving in to it... I wouldn't be able to.
Not that I live in the perfect world of sunshine, rainbows, puppies, zero gender pay gap and adequate maternity support - I have had my experience with job loss following having a child, being pushed around by male colleagues and managers who did not know what was going on in the department close to how well I knew it (parce que c'est il qui "porte le cravate" (c) ), was approached with random offers of sex by random men and was denied a bank account opening and apartment rental... no, wait, the last two actually occurred due to my origin, not gender :) But I absolutely can not understand how bashing men online for something they screwed up years ago can help improve somebody's life. And having a thread of dozens of comments where anyone is trying to out-misery everybody else with her own miserable experience indicates there's clearly something more than mere venting going on. Men can never understand us because they don't get pregnant, give birth or "even bleed every month" <sic>. Right. How much more can this fact ruin your life?
I can handle the feeling of "life is not fair" coming around every couple of months and always being replaced by the feeling of "I'ma show you how great I am"(c), but I can't possibly imagine living 24/7, year after year feeling insignificant, misunderstood, ignored, abused, used... Growing this feeling inside me, nurturing it, giving in to it... I wouldn't be able to.
Thursday, May 19, 2016
5 am. Dinning room.
It's chilly in the house and the entire dining table is covered with kinetic sand and molds, colouring books and pencils. The birds outside are just starting to go crazy, and I have a huge mug of coffee and hope I won't wake anybody up with the sound of keystrokes.
I have - again - hit the "no time to do it all" wall. Every so often I start to realize at the back of my head I start to run out of resources - time and energy. It obviously is cyclical although not periodical or proportional to the amount of work complete - so hard to predict when it will happen next, and at what point exactly and what projects will affect.
The last exam is coming up - and this time I'm glad I allocated 1 week more for preparation, than for REG. I'm half way through the section and not only I can't memorize all the rules and regulations for every single audit situation for Issuers and Non-issuers... I can't even always soak up the logic behind this and constructively organize the principles in my mind, or draw the pictures to enhance mnemonics (by now I've used Castro doing a presentation for a group of retirees, Snowden abandoning his citizenship, the monuments of Washington DC, terrorists targeting a group of Japanese tourists in Paris... but I feel I'll have to get really creative with the AUD section!), or -bad enough - even understand the meaning of a homework question sometimes!
Every morning starts with a 5K followed by abs exercises. Every morning as I step on the treadmill I keep telling I have to be super careful today not to have an accident by losing balance and falling down on treadmill, or falling asleep behind the wheel, or poisoning myself on caffeine, or smashing into something while trying to attend to both demanding boys at the same time, or just giving up and falling my face down into a frying pan while cooking dinner.
And then there's a deadline for 2 articles coming up. And so many things to be completed and arranged before mid-June. Just in case I ever feel nostalgic about this time in my life: I know long and hard period of growth always precedes a big growth spurt, and judging by all I'm into right now... well, I can't wait to see what the next level I'll get to will be like!
I have - again - hit the "no time to do it all" wall. Every so often I start to realize at the back of my head I start to run out of resources - time and energy. It obviously is cyclical although not periodical or proportional to the amount of work complete - so hard to predict when it will happen next, and at what point exactly and what projects will affect.
The last exam is coming up - and this time I'm glad I allocated 1 week more for preparation, than for REG. I'm half way through the section and not only I can't memorize all the rules and regulations for every single audit situation for Issuers and Non-issuers... I can't even always soak up the logic behind this and constructively organize the principles in my mind, or draw the pictures to enhance mnemonics (by now I've used Castro doing a presentation for a group of retirees, Snowden abandoning his citizenship, the monuments of Washington DC, terrorists targeting a group of Japanese tourists in Paris... but I feel I'll have to get really creative with the AUD section!), or -bad enough - even understand the meaning of a homework question sometimes!
Every morning starts with a 5K followed by abs exercises. Every morning as I step on the treadmill I keep telling I have to be super careful today not to have an accident by losing balance and falling down on treadmill, or falling asleep behind the wheel, or poisoning myself on caffeine, or smashing into something while trying to attend to both demanding boys at the same time, or just giving up and falling my face down into a frying pan while cooking dinner.
And then there's a deadline for 2 articles coming up. And so many things to be completed and arranged before mid-June. Just in case I ever feel nostalgic about this time in my life: I know long and hard period of growth always precedes a big growth spurt, and judging by all I'm into right now... well, I can't wait to see what the next level I'll get to will be like!
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Saturday, April 30, 2016
April. Year 2016.
Not enough time. Days are crumpled, rushed, turned inside out and at the same time each following day is the perfect copy of the preceding one.
I will soon start to recognize all bums between Capitol Hill and Colorado Secretary of State's Office. Next time I come to notarize another document I will be at risk of being hit in the heat with the Notary's stamp.
BEC section is not that challenging when you look at the content, but not that easy when you look at the amount of random information to memorize. It does give an impression of a less complicated FAR part.
Grandma N. died. Just between me typing in guilt, panic and anger to my cousin, trying to explain that I can't enter the country now, and me trying to find a way to get some sort of an expedited emergency visa as an exception - she did not make it. It can probably be called one of those cases when death is more of a mercy than being sustained in such sick and miserable condition for much longer, but I still can't cope with the thought. It was not fair she ended up in such a mental and physical state to begin with; and it was not right I couldn't have done more.
Thoughts come and go: I'll never be able to take Chinchillas to see her, I'll never buy her a bag of her favourite cottage cheese pastries and salted red fish ever again, I have never told her I have read Martin Eden - she was always too exhausted to talk about something other than day-to-day stuff and by the end could barely hear and understand me - and I'll never be able to discuss this book with her.
Granny, I do hope that in your next life, at the same age as now when you've ended up in bed for weeks, you'll be able to put on a beige hat with tiny forget-me-nots on the side, put on bright lipstick, get into your red Renault Clio with two of your best girlfriends and drive away from... Utrecht towards Barcelona, laughing and singing with the windows rolled down all the way.
I will soon start to recognize all bums between Capitol Hill and Colorado Secretary of State's Office. Next time I come to notarize another document I will be at risk of being hit in the heat with the Notary's stamp.
BEC section is not that challenging when you look at the content, but not that easy when you look at the amount of random information to memorize. It does give an impression of a less complicated FAR part.
Grandma N. died. Just between me typing in guilt, panic and anger to my cousin, trying to explain that I can't enter the country now, and me trying to find a way to get some sort of an expedited emergency visa as an exception - she did not make it. It can probably be called one of those cases when death is more of a mercy than being sustained in such sick and miserable condition for much longer, but I still can't cope with the thought. It was not fair she ended up in such a mental and physical state to begin with; and it was not right I couldn't have done more.
Thoughts come and go: I'll never be able to take Chinchillas to see her, I'll never buy her a bag of her favourite cottage cheese pastries and salted red fish ever again, I have never told her I have read Martin Eden - she was always too exhausted to talk about something other than day-to-day stuff and by the end could barely hear and understand me - and I'll never be able to discuss this book with her.
Granny, I do hope that in your next life, at the same age as now when you've ended up in bed for weeks, you'll be able to put on a beige hat with tiny forget-me-nots on the side, put on bright lipstick, get into your red Renault Clio with two of your best girlfriends and drive away from... Utrecht towards Barcelona, laughing and singing with the windows rolled down all the way.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
The extreme will and inner strength defined.
- Meeting a woman at a playground who says her family is with the Church of Mormons, introducing her to my... gypsy past and hearing "Oh! My cousin was just sent on a mission to this city in Russia... Vla-di-vos-tok!".
- And upon hearing this - forbidding myself to make Uganda jokes.
- Walking away from the playground without making a single Uganda joke or reference.
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
The 3-4 exam hours are always the most exhausting ones.
While at the computer I never feel tired (except for my eyes that dry and hurt), but once I'm out of the test center I'm ready to collapse. What's funny is that despite how many times I've been to this test center location, I always use navigator. The first time I came here was in 2008, and even now every single time I come here I can't remember the trip to the center or back.
Meanwhile... it was time to think what to do with the remaining time, and as NASBA seems to have extended this testing window by 10 days, I thought it was a sign and scheduled 2 exams back to back. So me.
Now I've 1 month (less actually) to study for the next exam, and a few days more than 1 month - to study for the last one. One final stretch...
Apart from that, I managed to make another donation with Bonfils (Oh, God of Taxation and Litigation, take my blood sacrifice!...) and even replace jeans before the fabrics became so worn down near the seams they would fall off me. By the way, Bonfils included new questions about Zika virus in their questionnaire. Big deal it is. Scary shit.
Now, taking a deep breath and... getting through the next 2 months to live happily ever after.
Meanwhile... it was time to think what to do with the remaining time, and as NASBA seems to have extended this testing window by 10 days, I thought it was a sign and scheduled 2 exams back to back. So me.
Now I've 1 month (less actually) to study for the next exam, and a few days more than 1 month - to study for the last one. One final stretch...
Apart from that, I managed to make another donation with Bonfils (
Now, taking a deep breath and... getting through the next 2 months to live happily ever after.
Monday, March 28, 2016
March. Year 2016.
Night. The 9 month old wakes up at 1 in the morning. Then at 3. Then around 4.30 and refuses to go back to bed on his own. He's teething and miserable and the only way he calms down and snoozes is if I hold him tight and close to my body, with his head slightly elevated. Von Zobel needs some sleep- it's tax season and he works on Saturdays - so I swirl myself into a pretzel-asana in the chair, manage to fix the iPad on the chair arm with my right knee, so I can flip through it with my left hand, so I can hold the baby on my right shoulder-elbow-side, and lean in such a way so that in the next two hours I do not accidentally fall asleep myself and wake him up.
Morning. Following a large breakfast of fried eggs (aka OVAL! - Chinchilla Sr) with onion and turkey breast, bread and fruit, and weekly call-around for grandparents and grand-grannies chinchillas demand entertainment. We walk to the remote playground, the Vice-president of our house riding in a sport stroller, the president - walking along upset for not being allowed to take his bicycle, tricycle or a van with him. I really hope that on the playground I can exhaust both of them and get some study time during their long nap.
Afternoon. The long walk brought Chinchillas some very good appetite, but - alas! - no sleepiness. Chinchilla Jr. skipped the morning nap altogether, and is now misanthropic and miserable. I spend another 30 minutes with him in my arms before he finally falls asleep, still jerking in sleep from my slightest movement while I try to put him in bed. Meanwhile Chinchilla Sr has already sung all his lullabies to himself, dropped out all his books from the bed and is now standing in bed demanding bathroom break. Ok, looks like he needed one. I put him back in bed hoping he can nap now. Go back to my bedroom as he continues to mumble and whine. Before I complete my first testlet though I hear him scream at the top of his lungs, rush to his room and find him on the floor by his bed. That's the first time ever he fell out of his bed. His screaming wakes up Chill Jr.
Evening. Chinchillas are exhausted, feeding or bathing them becomes a challenge. Junior gets a portion of Tylenol, I keep my fingers crossed that it works for him better than last night (when nothing worked at all). Takes some time to put him to sleep. Takes some time to put Chill Senior to bed - he can't go on, but is upset on the actual fact of being put to bed; however he seems to have passed out a minute after I closed the door of his room behind me.
I can come back to my testlet now.
Night. Sometime between passing out as soon as my head touches the pillow and Chinchilla senior waking me up at 5 again for a drink of milk, I find myself at a strange place. More like an ugly huge arena with an ugly outdated amusement park inside, and grey tall ugly Soviet-style houses with dark windows behind its walls. I'm with a group of people, knowing I need to get out of this place, because I need to get to my exam, but no one has any idea where the exit is. As we wander around the non-working rides, old garages and some other weird constructions an announcement is made that there're terrorists inside with us, getting ready to blow up this whole place very soon. Of course, I have to make it to the exam and other have some.. plans for the rest of their lives, so we divide ourselves and start running and searching for terrorists trying to catch them.
El sueño de la razón produce monstrous (c). Again :)
Morning. Following a large breakfast of fried eggs (aka OVAL! - Chinchilla Sr) with onion and turkey breast, bread and fruit, and weekly call-around for grandparents and grand-grannies chinchillas demand entertainment. We walk to the remote playground, the Vice-president of our house riding in a sport stroller, the president - walking along upset for not being allowed to take his bicycle, tricycle or a van with him. I really hope that on the playground I can exhaust both of them and get some study time during their long nap.
Afternoon. The long walk brought Chinchillas some very good appetite, but - alas! - no sleepiness. Chinchilla Jr. skipped the morning nap altogether, and is now misanthropic and miserable. I spend another 30 minutes with him in my arms before he finally falls asleep, still jerking in sleep from my slightest movement while I try to put him in bed. Meanwhile Chinchilla Sr has already sung all his lullabies to himself, dropped out all his books from the bed and is now standing in bed demanding bathroom break. Ok, looks like he needed one. I put him back in bed hoping he can nap now. Go back to my bedroom as he continues to mumble and whine. Before I complete my first testlet though I hear him scream at the top of his lungs, rush to his room and find him on the floor by his bed. That's the first time ever he fell out of his bed. His screaming wakes up Chill Jr.
Evening. Chinchillas are exhausted, feeding or bathing them becomes a challenge. Junior gets a portion of Tylenol, I keep my fingers crossed that it works for him better than last night (when nothing worked at all). Takes some time to put him to sleep. Takes some time to put Chill Senior to bed - he can't go on, but is upset on the actual fact of being put to bed; however he seems to have passed out a minute after I closed the door of his room behind me.
I can come back to my testlet now.
Night. Sometime between passing out as soon as my head touches the pillow and Chinchilla senior waking me up at 5 again for a drink of milk, I find myself at a strange place. More like an ugly huge arena with an ugly outdated amusement park inside, and grey tall ugly Soviet-style houses with dark windows behind its walls. I'm with a group of people, knowing I need to get out of this place, because I need to get to my exam, but no one has any idea where the exit is. As we wander around the non-working rides, old garages and some other weird constructions an announcement is made that there're terrorists inside with us, getting ready to blow up this whole place very soon. Of course, I have to make it to the exam and other have some.. plans for the rest of their lives, so we divide ourselves and start running and searching for terrorists trying to catch them.
El sueño de la razón produce monstrous (c). Again :)
Friday, March 25, 2016
Love the exam multiple-choice questions that are available on... different sources:
That would be a challenging question on the exam. Reasonably foreseeable, huh?
And this sounds somewhat outdated :) I wonder when the questions were last updated...
Monday, March 21, 2016
A day ago I got dragged into a quick online comment exchange with two young ladies on - and that's scary - a woman's determinism and purpose in life. Other people's ideas on what a woman's life should be like and what her - thus mine - purpose in life should be, do occasionally reach me, but apparently last time they did was a while ago and reading this again yesterday soured my day a little.
The girls jumped in to reply to one of my comments on the importance of self-sufficiency and self-reliance as woman becomes mother, wrote a few long comments full of irrelevant thoughts, random accusations of being a selfish money-loving child-neglecting control-freak (not necessarily in this order!), threw in a couple of examples that would prove my point rather than theirs, and continued to rant about the outrageousness of women like me long after I retired from the conversation :)
Every time I have somebody approach me with a persistent advice on how I should immediately change my life so my family benefits from it, I facepalm myself. In my mind, if it is absolutely necessary that I do not appear rude. And while on the World Wide Web it is easier to ignore a well-wishing comment than to start explaining my views to every random person, the though of how many of such people are out there makes me want to facepalm myself anyway.
I get quite emotional over the idea that being a wife and mother (TM) - means devoting all your life to the needs of your family - is the only true and natural way for a woman to live her life. Has it been perfectly natural for women of the past few centuries to take full and complete care of their babies from birth to age 3? Absolutely! I can easily picture a peasant girl in her late teens, who delivers a baby in Western Europe some 300 years ago and receives a paid maternity leave right away! Or a female factory worker a century and a half ago, a single mother with no relatives in town, who is of course entitled for maternity benefits form both the government and the plant she works at so she could stay home with her baby, and take care of him. Yep, for the next 3 years! Or - on the other hand - a Victorian upper middle class mother would surely stay with her baby daughter day and night, and as her daughter grows up - her mother would be able to cook meals for her from the scratch, go for walks with her, teach her painting, French, horseback riding, dancing, good manner and read her books - all by herself, of course! Nothing more natural than the history of mothers being attached to their babies from birth until and being multi-functional at all times.
Another concept I could never fully embrace is - what exactly a mother with no life of her own can pass on to her kids? Being a stay at home Mom of 4 kids looks greaton Instagram , but what if it did happen to me and I ended in a... career, social and personal interest isolation for a while - what would I be able to teach my kids about the world around, about problem solving and importance of social bonds forming? How would I be able to train them on the skills I no longer had myself? How would I be able to tell them right from wrong in their teenage years if hadn't expressed my own opinion for years, teach them to persist in getting what they want if I forgot what it means to stand my ground, show them the benefit of creative thinking when I life in a Groundhog's day, advise on applying their skills and knowledge if I never used what I had studied in University? And - that's irrelevant to me now, but what if I had a daughter? What behavioral model would she soak up watching me?
Lucky are those women who get all the support from their family, friends and peers to continue moving in the direction that suits them best. Otherwise, making yourself ignore dozens of discouraging and disorienting voices coming from all around may eat up a good portion of the energy that could otherwise be spent on just moving ahead quicker.
The girls jumped in to reply to one of my comments on the importance of self-sufficiency and self-reliance as woman becomes mother, wrote a few long comments full of irrelevant thoughts, random accusations of being a selfish money-loving child-neglecting control-freak (not necessarily in this order!), threw in a couple of examples that would prove my point rather than theirs, and continued to rant about the outrageousness of women like me long after I retired from the conversation :)
Every time I have somebody approach me with a persistent advice on how I should immediately change my life so my family benefits from it, I facepalm myself. In my mind, if it is absolutely necessary that I do not appear rude. And while on the World Wide Web it is easier to ignore a well-wishing comment than to start explaining my views to every random person, the though of how many of such people are out there makes me want to facepalm myself anyway.
I get quite emotional over the idea that being a wife and mother (TM) - means devoting all your life to the needs of your family - is the only true and natural way for a woman to live her life. Has it been perfectly natural for women of the past few centuries to take full and complete care of their babies from birth to age 3? Absolutely! I can easily picture a peasant girl in her late teens, who delivers a baby in Western Europe some 300 years ago and receives a paid maternity leave right away! Or a female factory worker a century and a half ago, a single mother with no relatives in town, who is of course entitled for maternity benefits form both the government and the plant she works at so she could stay home with her baby, and take care of him. Yep, for the next 3 years! Or - on the other hand - a Victorian upper middle class mother would surely stay with her baby daughter day and night, and as her daughter grows up - her mother would be able to cook meals for her from the scratch, go for walks with her, teach her painting, French, horseback riding, dancing, good manner and read her books - all by herself, of course! Nothing more natural than the history of mothers being attached to their babies from birth until and being multi-functional at all times.
Another concept I could never fully embrace is - what exactly a mother with no life of her own can pass on to her kids? Being a stay at home Mom of 4 kids looks great
Lucky are those women who get all the support from their family, friends and peers to continue moving in the direction that suits them best. Otherwise, making yourself ignore dozens of discouraging and disorienting voices coming from all around may eat up a good portion of the energy that could otherwise be spent on just moving ahead quicker.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Love cleaning my laptop.
Turns out I had quite a buildup of PDF presentations dated almost a decade ago of various beautiful cities and places of out planet to visit - quite a few of which I've already visited (hello, proper goal setting!), PDF presentations received from someone full of "words of wisdom" that have never really been applicable to me, nor will they in the near future (esp. in the light of recent... life philosophy change), a bunch New Year and Birthday wishes (I've no idea who wrote some of those, and can't recognize the style), a stack of documents with some interesting facts or words (which are always so hard to get rid of... esp. for a girl who grew up reading encyclopedias for fun).
A special type of importance for me once must have been:
A special type of importance for me once must have been:
- a presentation full of Geneva pictures (all of them apparently taking in a rush, and looking ridiculous now - it's easier to go to Geneva again some time soon and take some nice and meaningful pictures!),
- a study of... Ancient Egyptian (ok, I'm still an Egyptologist deep down my heart. Had to keep this one),
- a document titled "URGENT - to finish" - completely blank inside :) (I guess I should have finished URGENTLY when I had a clue what it was about. Or at least started it :) )
Friday, March 4, 2016
So, what does work for time management?
So much for being... a bit less than tolerant to people who waste time :) Now that my life is quite unpredictable - or let's refer to things by their names - my life is in nearly complete chaos - the mindset that has been helping me recently to squeeze out more from the 24 hours is thinking about the next task while still completing the current one.
This does not necessarily relate to the work or study projects where complete concentration is required, in fact, I'd rather allot some time blocks for anything that would require me to "dive in" and then not be interrupted for anything else. But when moving through routine tasks, running errands, following up with people and getting from one place to another it helps immensely not to let myself get suck in the present moment. Having started with an Item #1 on my list that does not require my full 100% focus, I start thinking about Item#2 - the next thing I should be doing or the next place I should be at, also finding the best way to get through the next thing quicker and move on to Item #3 etc. The next few items on the to-do list are thus rolling over constantly in my head, reminding me of all the upcoming deadlines and pushing me to move on quicker. The second benefit of this method is that it helps perfecting the execution since, as I think about the next Items on my list over and over again, I find better ways to approach them, combine similar tasks and do them all at once, or get rid of some steps of a big project altogether.
What are the cons of this approach? Pretty much that while it is very pro-active in execution, it requires prior planning. Before I start mapping out in my head in 20minutes, and in another 20minutes, I need a clear list of all 7 places I need to stop by/visit - all on paper, any notes to be taken into consideration about them - all on paper. Any project should be penciled down step by step, and should circumstances change or another person get involved - it should all be added to the original plan before any actions on the amended plan are taken. Sometimes a to-do item or a small project comes up and I write it down without a slightest idea of how to approach it or when to find time for it - and it will get done timely.
Sound easy and banal? It is. Plain pen and paper, and lots of self-discipline and thinking outside the box. But just as efficient given where I am in my life now. I keep reminding myself that as soon as I reach all my biggest life goals I will definitely hire a PA :)
This does not necessarily relate to the work or study projects where complete concentration is required, in fact, I'd rather allot some time blocks for anything that would require me to "dive in" and then not be interrupted for anything else. But when moving through routine tasks, running errands, following up with people and getting from one place to another it helps immensely not to let myself get suck in the present moment. Having started with an Item #1 on my list that does not require my full 100% focus, I start thinking about Item#2 - the next thing I should be doing or the next place I should be at, also finding the best way to get through the next thing quicker and move on to Item #3 etc. The next few items on the to-do list are thus rolling over constantly in my head, reminding me of all the upcoming deadlines and pushing me to move on quicker. The second benefit of this method is that it helps perfecting the execution since, as I think about the next Items on my list over and over again, I find better ways to approach them, combine similar tasks and do them all at once, or get rid of some steps of a big project altogether.
What are the cons of this approach? Pretty much that while it is very pro-active in execution, it requires prior planning. Before I start mapping out in my head in 20minutes, and in another 20minutes, I need a clear list of all 7 places I need to stop by/visit - all on paper, any notes to be taken into consideration about them - all on paper. Any project should be penciled down step by step, and should circumstances change or another person get involved - it should all be added to the original plan before any actions on the amended plan are taken. Sometimes a to-do item or a small project comes up and I write it down without a slightest idea of how to approach it or when to find time for it - and it will get done timely.
Sound easy and banal? It is. Plain pen and paper, and lots of self-discipline and thinking outside the box. But just as efficient given where I am in my life now. I keep reminding myself that as soon as I reach all my biggest life goals I will definitely hire a PA :)
Monday, February 29, 2016
Just being curious.
Where do all these people around me get their time from?
I've never been jealous in my life, but if I were, I would have wished to become one of those people who seem to be at no rush regardless of where they are. Slowly walking down the hall of a Fitness Center, taking their sweet time to take a right turn on an absolutely empty road, walking at a speed of 10 steps a minute at Costco and as if that wasn't enough - stopping to taste each free sample available.
I can't imagine what life with no deadlines feels like. Still just as fulfilling as the one where you dodge around all the time? Does not being in a rush help at all? Does speeding up through the day make any difference?
I really think one day I should try - for a change - walking sloooowly with a couple of friends of mine towards the gym exit, all three of us in one line in a narrow corridor. Preferably with strollers. Even better - chatting in a high pitched voice to completely block out the steps of the people behind and those excusing themselves trying to pass. The time when I split thinking and doing into two separate processes with two separate timeframes for each - will come! :) I will be watching peacefully people half-stuck in a Costco egg fridge for more than a minute without looking at the fridge door with homicidal urges.
But today is the one extra day I got this year, - to be spent on achieving something important or catching up. And I neither caught up, nor moved ahead. I still wasted a lot of time dodging around and am still very far behind. All this is very, very personal of course.
I've never been jealous in my life, but if I were, I would have wished to become one of those people who seem to be at no rush regardless of where they are. Slowly walking down the hall of a Fitness Center, taking their sweet time to take a right turn on an absolutely empty road, walking at a speed of 10 steps a minute at Costco and as if that wasn't enough - stopping to taste each free sample available.
I can't imagine what life with no deadlines feels like. Still just as fulfilling as the one where you dodge around all the time? Does not being in a rush help at all? Does speeding up through the day make any difference?
I really think one day I should try - for a change - walking sloooowly with a couple of friends of mine towards the gym exit, all three of us in one line in a narrow corridor. Preferably with strollers. Even better - chatting in a high pitched voice to completely block out the steps of the people behind and those excusing themselves trying to pass. The time when I split thinking and doing into two separate processes with two separate timeframes for each - will come! :) I will be watching peacefully people half-stuck in a Costco egg fridge for more than a minute without looking at the fridge door with homicidal urges.
But today is the one extra day I got this year, - to be spent on achieving something important or catching up. And I neither caught up, nor moved ahead. I still wasted a lot of time dodging around and am still very far behind. All this is very, very personal of course.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Some doctors just know their stuff.
My new ob/gyn is prescribing me a new type of oral contraceptive ("just in case"), and meanwhile is refreshing my memory on its proper use (apparently, again, "just in case"):
-It's important that you take the pill every day...
-Yep.
-... preferably- at the same time every day.
-Yep.
-For example, every evening at dinner.
-Yep.
-So it's best for you to keep the pack in the kitchen: when you cook dinner, and the kids are tired, running around and screaming, and throwing tantrums - you think "Please, God, don't let me have any more kids!", and then you remember to take your pill!
...Too bad she switched to the next subject before I could ask her how on Earth she knew...
-It's important that you take the pill every day...
-Yep.
-... preferably- at the same time every day.
-Yep.
-For example, every evening at dinner.
-Yep.
-So it's best for you to keep the pack in the kitchen: when you cook dinner, and the kids are tired, running around and screaming, and throwing tantrums - you think "Please, God, don't let me have any more kids!", and then you remember to take your pill!
...Too bad she switched to the next subject before I could ask her how on Earth she knew...
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
My pre-Birthday Grand cleen up brought me 3 new online points of inspiration within a few days!
In particular, 2 blogs and 1 website/Facebook group =)
A few weeks before that I finally put together for myself the reason I would never become a professional blogger or, for this matter, an Instagram-mer (although the feeling that there is something wrong with posting your thoughts and pictures full time had been flown around me for a while). I wouldn't be able to commit to religious posting of sheets of text or pictures online because at some point I would also have to commit to sticking to a certain personality I had developed through my blog and used most often.And my Alter-Ego strongly objects this idea. I would have to translate everything I do, have or feel into the realm of the person my readers or viewers are already familiar with and expect me to be. But at some point the need to constantly these expectation would ruin the genuinely of my self-expression and hold me back on all those ways I want to show my growth, changes and development throughout life.
I notice it more and more often, when bloggers try to maintain not just their writing style, but their life-style and personality so hard - the things they write about finally stop making sense. It shows when bloggers try to appear casual and care-free, positive head to toes, and projecting love and acceptance to everything around, and suddenly switching to depressed wishing he wasn't so lonely and life wasn't so tough - nearly in every other post.
It pops up when a "professional mother" of 5, who has a whole mosaic of Instagram to prove a happy mommy's life with 5 kids born 2 years apart and all doing distance learning at home is possible, with a working husband, without a nanny (ever), a housekeeper, or any other help - forgets herself and starts posting pictures of her with her mother, who's staying over for a couple of months... Followed by series of pictures of her kids playing with her in-laws, who apparently, flew in right after to take over after her mom... Topped by a picture of her with a stroller and a list of her time management secrets, where a super-secret tactics of "Plan everything in advance" is followed by an unthinkable "Delegate! My husband takes 1 full day off work every week to take the kids to a park or playground, so I can have some me-time or meet with girlfriends for coffee." Closing curtain...
This nowadays fashion for being happy and absolutely self-sufficient tends to push people to extremes, which eventually come up as fake and completely not belonging to lives of people with the strengths, values or abilities they claim to have. Or, as one of my Regulation course instructors says, - "When you see an answer that starts with All, Always, Never, Only, Must - it is almost always a false answer". :)
Anyway... The 2 blogs I stumbled upon (or maybe they found me once I was ready and had space for them) - proved to be extremely useful so far, filled less with claims of the writer's ability of Having-It-All in the Land of Rainbows and Unicorns, and more - with precise examples of how they coped with every complex situation and life challenge using resources they had. Some wisdom for me to soak up during my 2am nursing sessions :)
A few weeks before that I finally put together for myself the reason I would never become a professional blogger or, for this matter, an Instagram-mer (although the feeling that there is something wrong with posting your thoughts and pictures full time had been flown around me for a while). I wouldn't be able to commit to religious posting of sheets of text or pictures online because at some point I would also have to commit to sticking to a certain personality I had developed through my blog and used most often.
I notice it more and more often, when bloggers try to maintain not just their writing style, but their life-style and personality so hard - the things they write about finally stop making sense. It shows when bloggers try to appear casual and care-free, positive head to toes, and projecting love and acceptance to everything around, and suddenly switching to depressed wishing he wasn't so lonely and life wasn't so tough - nearly in every other post.
It pops up when a "professional mother" of 5, who has a whole mosaic of Instagram to prove a happy mommy's life with 5 kids born 2 years apart and all doing distance learning at home is possible, with a working husband, without a nanny (ever), a housekeeper, or any other help - forgets herself and starts posting pictures of her with her mother, who's staying over for a couple of months... Followed by series of pictures of her kids playing with her in-laws, who apparently, flew in right after to take over after her mom... Topped by a picture of her with a stroller and a list of her time management secrets, where a super-secret tactics of "Plan everything in advance" is followed by an unthinkable "Delegate! My husband takes 1 full day off work every week to take the kids to a park or playground, so I can have some me-time or meet with girlfriends for coffee." Closing curtain...
This nowadays fashion for being happy and absolutely self-sufficient tends to push people to extremes, which eventually come up as fake and completely not belonging to lives of people with the strengths, values or abilities they claim to have. Or, as one of my Regulation course instructors says, - "When you see an answer that starts with All, Always, Never, Only, Must - it is almost always a false answer". :)
Anyway... The 2 blogs I stumbled upon (or maybe they found me once I was ready and had space for them) - proved to be extremely useful so far, filled less with claims of the writer's ability of Having-It-All in the Land of Rainbows and Unicorns, and more - with precise examples of how they coped with every complex situation and life challenge using resources they had. Some wisdom for me to soak up during my 2am nursing sessions :)
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Chinchilla Sr. & I put a start to library classes.
I finally decided to give a try to the kids' story reading in Russian session, and it went way above my expectations!
Instead of having a meeting room full of parents and kids sitting on chairs and listening to a story all the way in the back in complete silence (Dr. Chill. Sitting still. In complete silence. Ha!) we found a small group of toddlers of same age (3 out or 4 were also 2.5 year olds), hanging around a blanket, listening to "teacher" Librarian and making all sorts of random noises. Apparently we were in some extra luck that morning, because no one of the kids really spoke, so we were all on the same levelof stubbornness.
The "teacher" started over by asking the kids their names and ages (to be shown on fingers), and then to point at their ears-noses-eyes-teeth-necks, and go through some more physical, mental and vocal stretching before getting on to the actual story reading. The story du jour was a tale of Masha I Medved', in a beautiful book with picture cut outs on the page, and cardboard figures of the characters to go with. The kids were kept engaged on every page of the story:
- Once upon a time there were... (The teacher shows the cardboard figures of the Old Man and an Old Woman).
- A Grandpa and Grandma! (the dialog was conducted with the oldest boy in the group who actually did talk).
- That's right! Now raise hands those of you who have a Grandma and a Grandpa!
- ... (moms, me included, raise hands of their lucky kids)
- That's great! Now, for your grandparents you are a... (facing a boy)
- ... eeeh.... Vnuk!
- That's right! And you would be... (facing girls). You are Vnuchka (since girls did not reply). And you are, for your grandparents... (facing Chill)
- Ai-ai!! (*the curtain falls*)
The story was followed by taking pictures in a Hoberman Sphere, playing dominoes and finding animals on a farm poster. Dr. Chill was multi-tasking by running around from one protected electrical outlet to another and opening and closing the covers on them, one at a time. Finally, the teacher said she had something for this young engineer and took out a whole... tool box full of plastic tools!
- Sweet! - Said Dr. Chill... in a non-verbal way, grabbed a screwdriver, run to the wall and stuck it in the electric outlet.
...For the next weekend, I've been told to bring my youngest one along too.
Instead of having a meeting room full of parents and kids sitting on chairs and listening to a story all the way in the back in complete silence (Dr. Chill. Sitting still. In complete silence. Ha!) we found a small group of toddlers of same age (3 out or 4 were also 2.5 year olds), hanging around a blanket, listening to "teacher" Librarian and making all sorts of random noises. Apparently we were in some extra luck that morning, because no one of the kids really spoke, so we were all on the same level
The "teacher" started over by asking the kids their names and ages (to be shown on fingers), and then to point at their ears-noses-eyes-teeth-necks, and go through some more physical, mental and vocal stretching before getting on to the actual story reading. The story du jour was a tale of Masha I Medved', in a beautiful book with picture cut outs on the page, and cardboard figures of the characters to go with. The kids were kept engaged on every page of the story:
- Once upon a time there were... (The teacher shows the cardboard figures of the Old Man and an Old Woman).
- A Grandpa and Grandma! (the dialog was conducted with the oldest boy in the group who actually did talk).
- That's right! Now raise hands those of you who have a Grandma and a Grandpa!
- ... (moms, me included, raise hands of their lucky kids)
- That's great! Now, for your grandparents you are a... (facing a boy)
- ... eeeh.... Vnuk!
- That's right! And you would be... (facing girls). You are Vnuchka (since girls did not reply). And you are, for your grandparents... (facing Chill)
- Ai-ai!! (*the curtain falls*)
The story was followed by taking pictures in a Hoberman Sphere, playing dominoes and finding animals on a farm poster. Dr. Chill was multi-tasking by running around from one protected electrical outlet to another and opening and closing the covers on them, one at a time. Finally, the teacher said she had something for this young engineer and took out a whole... tool box full of plastic tools!
- Sweet! - Said Dr. Chill... in a non-verbal way, grabbed a screwdriver, run to the wall and stuck it in the electric outlet.
...For the next weekend, I've been told to bring my youngest one along too.
Friday, February 5, 2016
29
To tell the truth, every year the mere thought of how quickly time flies by becomes more and more scary to me. I have a feeling I don't have time to do anything - anything at all - substantial! Just as I accomplish something - I mentally move is from the category of "Oh, if only!.." to "Well, that wasn't too bad. Can't believe I wasted so much time on this!" and continue to gnaw myself on the idea of not accomplishing enough. Again.
Nevertheless... Since this time a year ago I improved my life by:
Nevertheless... Since this time a year ago I improved my life by:
- Having Chinchilla Jr! That's by far the most significant event of the past year. My little-little one is such a darling, smart, kind, curious boy, and we all couldn't love him more and be more grateful for such a wonderful new member of our family!
The 12 hours (or so) it took to deliver Dr.Chill Jr was a whole different story and an experience worth living through to later make it fall under Ce qui ne nous tue pas nous rend plus fort(c). Making a birth plan is indeed a waste of time (that's why I never had any this time), whenever I go to the hospital "for a quick check" might mean I will return home in 2 days and with a baby(happened both times), and... I am a very lucky person indeed! (a statement proved by my life over and over again). - Completing all necessary education requirements for the licensing and passing FAR.
- Building up experience on tax and valuation prep. Helps a lot in defining my direction further on...
- Maintaining good relationship with Chinchilla Sr. and Von Zobel. One of my goals for 2015 was to organize monthly date nights out with Von Zobel. To my great surprise, we were able to make this happen (God bless younger sisters!), even around the birth day of Chinchilla Jr. - a few days before, and end of the following month.
- Having read 30 new books. Not quite 50, as initially planned, but - still acceptable, given how little time I had for leisure reading and little-side-project reading. Oh, and yes, - most of those books were actually audiobooks I listen to in my car while driving.
- Following through the Grand-Maintenance project of the roof, window screens, some window replacement, stucco replacement, garage and entrance door repainting, as well as Grand-Remodeling of the master bathroom and floor replacement in the Jack-and-Jill and Liz's bathrooms. The latter cannot even be counted as one of my big projects as I had to coordinate it about 3 hours after delivering Dr Chill Jr and miss the first couple of days of work as I was still in the hospital. Bottom line - done with house remodeling and refurbishing projects for now. For a while.
- Getting back into shape after having 2nd child, and on the whole - have a healthy and fit 2nd pregnancy. Took hell lot of time, energy, money and effort on my part, but was well worth it.
- Having completed my first online course in Universite de Geneve. Studying right at this university gave my some... unexplainable feeling :)
- Meeting a few great new people. Some of them are cool to hang around with, others must have entered my life to give me a magic kick to move forward faster :) I guess keeping all old connections and not losing any friends could also go under this line item.
- Beginning of Life Coach studies - as coming from another goals of 2015. Definitely was not a priority for the year, however a start was put.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
A counter-intuitive way to win over the job-interviewers, impress them and get invited for the next one
is to show up to a large corporation (TM)'s interview completely sick: with voice almost gone, pink teary eyes, swollen nose and shaking from side to side even when seating on a chair. It is essential though to talk non-stop, use excessive body language and gestures energetic enough to turn over the round table at any moment, and loudly wheeze an apology, emphasize that you're slightly under the weather today.
Apparently, large corporations are naturally attracted to candidates who show up the drive of a locomotive even at the worst of their condition, and are able to show up and perform even sick like hell (sadly, both seem to be true).
***
On a side note - after 1.5 year (give or take) I resumed my blood donation, and discovered that:
a) donating blood while breastfeeding is ok, and does not stress body badly enough to cut off milk supply :)
b) exchanging a pint of blood for a pint of... beer is a fun and fair experience. I don't think I'll be able to put the beer coupon to use any time soon, but hope Von Zobel will;
c) Bonfils (at least at Highlands Ranch location) has some amazing employees. I already forgot what it was like, but it feels nicer than having a blood work at a physician's/ob/gyn office: you get help with adjusting the seat the way you want it, can ask for a bottle of water at any moment (that will be opened for you), can get a cookie (I didn't ask for any, but saw other donors do :)),get a Bonfils shirt, but the best part of it is how professionally they actually stick in the needle. This time it took 3 people 3 (three) attempts each to get the vein, and I already pushed myself into the seat as hard as I could thinking of how blue the inside of my elbow will look like in 2 days, but... nothing except from a few traces from needle pokes. Not a small bruise. Simply amazing!
Apparently, large corporations are naturally attracted to candidates who show up the drive of a locomotive even at the worst of their condition, and are able to show up and perform even sick like hell (sadly, both seem to be true).
***
On a side note - after 1.5 year (give or take) I resumed my blood donation, and discovered that:
a) donating blood while breastfeeding is ok, and does not stress body badly enough to cut off milk supply :)
b) exchanging a pint of blood for a pint of... beer is a fun and fair experience. I don't think I'll be able to put the beer coupon to use any time soon, but hope Von Zobel will;
c) Bonfils (at least at Highlands Ranch location) has some amazing employees. I already forgot what it was like, but it feels nicer than having a blood work at a physician's/ob/gyn office: you get help with adjusting the seat the way you want it, can ask for a bottle of water at any moment (that will be opened for you), can get a cookie (I didn't ask for any, but saw other donors do :)),
Saturday, January 30, 2016
It feels like 2015 never ended.
Maybe because of the non-stop cycle of daily routine that went through the Holiday season, and the need to study for the exam through the New Year, and taking the exam on January 4th, and jumping into the next section before the results are even known. The hardest thing in going through the exam planning is trying to focus on the next study subject while the results for the old section are still unknown. But you need to focus and push forward. And be very, very patient...
The Board I'm waiting to hear from, while taking their time with scoring, try to spice up the waiting period and send an email out of blue with an update on application status. For example, saying the application status is now closed. Just like that. And if you do want to discuss that - here's our general line, knock yourself out.
The only organization that succeeds in wearing me down even more is Humana - still looking forward to the day when an hour or more of being on the phone and on hold would yield me a reasonable professional employee who could cancel - this time for real! - the insurance coverage I thought they cancelled for me end of last year. Swear to God, as soon as I completely outsource my house cleaning, the very next thing I'll do is hire a virtual PA!
Yoga works magic: in 2 weeks of daily (Mo-Fri) classes the backache is almost fully gone, and skiing goes much smoother and well-balanced :) Can't wait to completely recover from the cold to start making my workouts more active; my boxing gloves have collected enough dust in the basement since mid-1st trimester of the 2nd pregnancy!...
The Board I'm waiting to hear from, while taking their time with scoring, try to spice up the waiting period and send an email out of blue with an update on application status. For example, saying the application status is now closed. Just like that. And if you do want to discuss that - here's our general line, knock yourself out.
The only organization that succeeds in wearing me down even more is Humana - still looking forward to the day when an hour or more of being on the phone and on hold would yield me a reasonable professional employee who could cancel - this time for real! - the insurance coverage I thought they cancelled for me end of last year. Swear to God, as soon as I completely outsource my house cleaning, the very next thing I'll do is hire a virtual PA!
Yoga works magic: in 2 weeks of daily (Mo-Fri) classes the backache is almost fully gone, and skiing goes much smoother and well-balanced :) Can't wait to completely recover from the cold to start making my workouts more active; my boxing gloves have collected enough dust in the basement since mid-1st trimester of the 2nd pregnancy!...
Sunday, January 10, 2016
New Year Beginn(er)ing's luck
The warm words of gratitude this week go to the Universe for:
b) for deciding not to come to an earlier time and thus not being part of the earlier group who lost 5-7 minutes on leaving their testing rooms, and then being searched, scanned and signed in. I ended up needing every single minute of my time. ( Damn, this exam was hard!..)
2. Successful return to skiing after having been out of practice for 3 consecutive years. By "successful" I mean being able to ski away on my own legs every time after a pretty bad fall :) You never know how much of a Pinoccio you've become until you try some activity you used to feel comfortable with, and apparently the next few weeks call for lots of yoga practice! :)
- Missing the fire drill at Prometrics Test Center. In particular for:
b) for deciding not to come to an earlier time and thus not being part of the earlier group who lost 5-7 minutes on leaving their testing rooms, and then being searched, scanned and signed in. I ended up needing every single minute of my time. ( Damn, this exam was hard!..)
2. Successful return to skiing after having been out of practice for 3 consecutive years. By "successful" I mean being able to ski away on my own legs every time after a pretty bad fall :) You never know how much of a Pinoccio you've become until you try some activity you used to feel comfortable with, and apparently the next few weeks call for lots of yoga practice! :)
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