Just last night I was grumbling about how lucky Putin is, despite everything he does. Something always happens that he can turn around in his favour.
Hosting Winter Olympics and winning to host Football Cup - but of course! No matter how much money mysteriously disappears in the process, - we're a great nation, we deserve it!
Civil war breaks out in a neighboring state - time to say "tut-tut!" to a nation who have been in vain hopes of spurting economic growth, development and quality of life. Set them as a bad example of see-what-happens-to-the-disloyal-ones?! to your own nation. Feeding the bullshit of some Fascists, NATO, US secretly participating in the war to your own people successfully - definitely requires some tremendous amount of luck going your way.
Actually, successfully feeding your people the bullshit of nearly the whole world conspiring against them for many years - requires some tremendous luck.
Terrorist attacks and violent shooting in developed countries - serve them right!
Annexing part of the neighboring country while it's at war? - sure, we're a great nation, on our way back to being an Empire! (apparently) :)
Providing asylum to Snowden? - Yep, let the world know what the real Democracy is!
EU approaches Russia after having suffered a number of terrorist attacks? - of course, that's because we're great!
But fine. There's a good opportunity to improve relationship with the EU and USA, to unite and contribute and to really do something that counts and can make your people proud. After all - here's a common enemy - a real one! - and you do have resources, and you're the one being approached! A very, very good chance to start off a new clean page!
...Leaving it on this thought makes reading the news at 3am about the shot down SU-24 and Putin's response, threats of sanctions and calling for the Russians to cease visiting Turkey a bit like a... deja vu (deja lu) caused by sleep deprivation.
A big fat vicious circle deja vu.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Sunday, November 15, 2015
The world is changing.
On a large scale, major changes are inevitable. The entire human history is the history of new discoveries made, rise and fall of empires, values changes, cultures abandoned, technical innovations playing "survival of the fittest" game with traditions and lifestyle (not in favour of the latter).
On a much smaller, much more selfish scale... I dread these changes. I learnt the world as it was centuries and centuries ago, I know it well the way it is now, and this is the way I want it to stay. I know the existing system well enough to understand and analyze current global events, and make plans for my life and the life of my family accordingly. Is it likely that during my life at least one major geopolitical change will take place and the balance of power at some point of our planet will shift? Most likely than not! Will I be able to adjust and adapt to whatever chain of events this will cause? Absolutely! Will I be able to make new speculations about my life, make plans for education, traveling, work? But of course!
Once again, the mankind has been through revolutionary, rather than evolutionary, change hundreds of times. And yet, on a scale of my single short human life, I want to hold on to science, culture, art medicine, philosophy and peoples just as they are now. One stupid move - and the world does change, people within it change in response, and it may so happen - that whatever I am used to, whatever I appreciate, respect and value - will cease to exist.
On a much smaller, much more selfish scale... I dread these changes. I learnt the world as it was centuries and centuries ago, I know it well the way it is now, and this is the way I want it to stay. I know the existing system well enough to understand and analyze current global events, and make plans for my life and the life of my family accordingly. Is it likely that during my life at least one major geopolitical change will take place and the balance of power at some point of our planet will shift? Most likely than not! Will I be able to adjust and adapt to whatever chain of events this will cause? Absolutely! Will I be able to make new speculations about my life, make plans for education, traveling, work? But of course!
Once again, the mankind has been through revolutionary, rather than evolutionary, change hundreds of times. And yet, on a scale of my single short human life, I want to hold on to science, culture, art medicine, philosophy and peoples just as they are now. One stupid move - and the world does change, people within it change in response, and it may so happen - that whatever I am used to, whatever I appreciate, respect and value - will cease to exist.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Life as a mother of 2. Month six.
Chinchilla Jr is eating his third breakfast. Or having an early brunch. Or a coffee break. Chinchilla Sr asks for immediate help with potty - he uses the adult toilet because... he just has to.
I stop feeding Chinchilla Jr, put him in his bed, go and help Chinchilla Sr sit on the toilet. Chinchilla Sr suddenly changes his mind, jumps down and tries to run away. I catch him, remind him 5 seconds ago he needed to go, and put him back up. Chinchilla Sr cries <possibly> that life is not fair and I suck, jumps off the toilet again, at the same time trying to get out of my hands, and as I realize insisting is pointless and let him go - he gets into a tantrum, loses balance and falls down on the floor his cheek against the tile.
As he gets air into his lungs to tell me again life is not fair and I suck, before returning to his interrupted tantrum, I quickly walk out, closing the door behind me and instructing him to join me once he's done crying and realized that throwing himself side to side between a toilet, a bath and travertine tile is not worth it and would hurt not me, but him most. Literally.
Meanwhile, Chinchilla Jr has grown impatient and wants the rest of his breakfast. Or coffee. Just as I pick him up and continue with him, Chinchilla Sr appears in the bathroom door with a bleeding lip. I freak out, leave Chinchilla Jr right on the nursing chair to run up to Chinchilla Sr and make sure he did not lose a tooth or break his nose.
Chinchilla Sr has his nose intact and his full set of teeth in, and no blisters anywhere on the face, except for the upper swollen lip - which he must have hit his teeth against, when falling. I wash his face, take off the vest with a stain of blood, wipe the blood from the floor and as Chinchilla Sr turns into his highly energetic smart and sly self, hear a boom! sound coming off the nursery.
Chinchilla Jr, apparently having lost us out of sight for a whole minute and started for worry, crawled off the nursing chair backwards. With his legs getting off the chair first. And is now lying on the carpet, telling me life is not fair and I suck.
*******
The following day Chinchilla Jr manages to roll off the changing table. Since he is actually fastened to his changing pad, the changing pad, which is much bigger than him, somehow gets carried down with him and ends up covering him on the carpet. Chinchilla Jr tells me I'm not fair and life sucks and that I need to do better than just milk if I want him to calm down.
After running around with Chinchilla Jr., panicking and googling what needs to be done and what the risks are, I realize I need to give a call to the pediatrician's office to let them know we're running late for the scheduled flu shot for Chinchilla Sr. For some reason my call can't go through and I can't reach anyone in the office. I leave Chinchilla Jr to the nanny - both are giggling at me panicking and the fact Chinchilla Jr has his trademark smile back on his face allow me to breathe a little deeper, - leave instructions with her, grab Chinchilla Sr and drive off to the pediatrician.
Chinchilla Sr gets his thigh poked - it's getting harder to control him, as he's much stronger and smarter than a year ago. He cries that nothing is fair nowadays and everything sucks, but only until the nurse leaves the room. Both Chinchillas do it - must be some sort of self-worked out strategy of getting rid of strangers with needles. Later today, in the middle of the night he will develop an adverse reaction to this shot...
But now I want him to calm down and feel better and walk in the snow in our drive way and across the street with him. He wants to walk in the stream of melted snow: grabs my hand, pull me towards him, hears a crow and says "Varrooon" with very much French accent and pronunciation, and - I can't say no to him.
Spend the next 20 minutes running in the snow and in the water. I need to be in the office - needed to have been there a while ago - so after continuing taking Chinchilla Sr into coming home, I grab him and walk with him across the house to the patio. The bribe works for a short while. He wants to get down into the backyard, but the stairs are covered with 4 inches of sticky snow and I've had enough of one kid falling down this morning already.
I tell him he can walk around the patio as much as he wants, but block the way to the stairs with a folded patio chair. He gets through just for the sake of it, pretends he does not hear and tries to escape. The rebellious attempt gets him back indoors without boots, hat and jacket and... screaming.
Screaming so hard Chinchilla Jr, who has finally fallen asleep after almost an hour of trying - is woken up. And tells us all life is not fair and we suck.
Rebot.
Repeat.
I'll miss these days.
I stop feeding Chinchilla Jr, put him in his bed, go and help Chinchilla Sr sit on the toilet. Chinchilla Sr suddenly changes his mind, jumps down and tries to run away. I catch him, remind him 5 seconds ago he needed to go, and put him back up. Chinchilla Sr cries <possibly> that life is not fair and I suck, jumps off the toilet again, at the same time trying to get out of my hands, and as I realize insisting is pointless and let him go - he gets into a tantrum, loses balance and falls down on the floor his cheek against the tile.
As he gets air into his lungs to tell me again life is not fair and I suck, before returning to his interrupted tantrum, I quickly walk out, closing the door behind me and instructing him to join me once he's done crying and realized that throwing himself side to side between a toilet, a bath and travertine tile is not worth it and would hurt not me, but him most. Literally.
Meanwhile, Chinchilla Jr has grown impatient and wants the rest of his breakfast. Or coffee. Just as I pick him up and continue with him, Chinchilla Sr appears in the bathroom door with a bleeding lip. I freak out, leave Chinchilla Jr right on the nursing chair to run up to Chinchilla Sr and make sure he did not lose a tooth or break his nose.
Chinchilla Sr has his nose intact and his full set of teeth in, and no blisters anywhere on the face, except for the upper swollen lip - which he must have hit his teeth against, when falling. I wash his face, take off the vest with a stain of blood, wipe the blood from the floor and as Chinchilla Sr turns into his highly energetic smart and sly self, hear a boom! sound coming off the nursery.
Chinchilla Jr, apparently having lost us out of sight for a whole minute and started for worry, crawled off the nursing chair backwards. With his legs getting off the chair first. And is now lying on the carpet, telling me life is not fair and I suck.
*******
The following day Chinchilla Jr manages to roll off the changing table. Since he is actually fastened to his changing pad, the changing pad, which is much bigger than him, somehow gets carried down with him and ends up covering him on the carpet. Chinchilla Jr tells me I'm not fair and life sucks and that I need to do better than just milk if I want him to calm down.
After running around with Chinchilla Jr., panicking and googling what needs to be done and what the risks are, I realize I need to give a call to the pediatrician's office to let them know we're running late for the scheduled flu shot for Chinchilla Sr. For some reason my call can't go through and I can't reach anyone in the office. I leave Chinchilla Jr to the nanny - both are giggling at me panicking and the fact Chinchilla Jr has his trademark smile back on his face allow me to breathe a little deeper, - leave instructions with her, grab Chinchilla Sr and drive off to the pediatrician.
Chinchilla Sr gets his thigh poked - it's getting harder to control him, as he's much stronger and smarter than a year ago. He cries that nothing is fair nowadays and everything sucks, but only until the nurse leaves the room. Both Chinchillas do it - must be some sort of self-worked out strategy of getting rid of strangers with needles. Later today, in the middle of the night he will develop an adverse reaction to this shot...
But now I want him to calm down and feel better and walk in the snow in our drive way and across the street with him. He wants to walk in the stream of melted snow: grabs my hand, pull me towards him, hears a crow and says "Varrooon" with very much French accent and pronunciation, and - I can't say no to him.
Spend the next 20 minutes running in the snow and in the water. I need to be in the office - needed to have been there a while ago - so after continuing taking Chinchilla Sr into coming home, I grab him and walk with him across the house to the patio. The bribe works for a short while. He wants to get down into the backyard, but the stairs are covered with 4 inches of sticky snow and I've had enough of one kid falling down this morning already.
I tell him he can walk around the patio as much as he wants, but block the way to the stairs with a folded patio chair. He gets through just for the sake of it, pretends he does not hear and tries to escape. The rebellious attempt gets him back indoors without boots, hat and jacket and... screaming.
Screaming so hard Chinchilla Jr, who has finally fallen asleep after almost an hour of trying - is woken up. And tells us all life is not fair and we suck.
Rebot.
Repeat.
I'll miss these days.
Monday, November 9, 2015
All petty things always come up in batches but never mean much.
That is, it's not too bad when an espresso maker breaks down all out of sudden or when your bathroom is about to be taken apart and turned upside down, or appliances or plumbing are acting up. All that's negligible, even thought weeks can go by feeling like all you every day is playing tennis against three. All day long.
It's much worse to binge google side effects of spinal surgery or vein removal and hope that everything goes well with the former, and the doctor has enough experience and knowledge and there'll be enough luck in the air at the time of surgery. And trying to decide if the later is absolutely necessary right now, or can wait until thrombosis starts to form and what not.
And then the fact of adding some formula to Chinchilla Jr's breast milk - that completely throws me off the balance. Although having nursed for over a year now - 5 months of exclusive breastfeeding since birth is way more than I have hoped for, with both babies. Still.
One day I will look back at this time of my life, and laugh...
It's much worse to binge google side effects of spinal surgery or vein removal and hope that everything goes well with the former, and the doctor has enough experience and knowledge and there'll be enough luck in the air at the time of surgery. And trying to decide if the later is absolutely necessary right now, or can wait until thrombosis starts to form and what not.
And then the fact of adding some formula to Chinchilla Jr's breast milk - that completely throws me off the balance. Although having nursed for over a year now - 5 months of exclusive breastfeeding since birth is way more than I have hoped for, with both babies. Still.
One day I will look back at this time of my life, and laugh...
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