If you're strong, stand out and are... well, somewhat an achiever by nature, there is a chance most of the people that stick around are there because they want to see you being you. They want to observe you make every step of your life, they want to see your start up all your substantial projects, they want to know how you keep yourself strong, happy, motivated. They are seeking inspiration, peace of mind, thoughts on how to get ahead in life, or even - what to do with their lives, and they want to get ideas and learn by watching you.
And here you are - a life example of how to put the pieces of puzzle together and make things work. You excelled and they simply want to know how to excel too.
Don't flatter yourself - these are not all your friends.
As, chances are, one day day one of your biggest fans who comments the most and cheers the loudest will say: "You know, you're cool and what you do is very cool, but honestly - I would fit your place so much better!"
And about the achievers.
I am looking for examples of people whose productivity was actually boosted by the need to help their families.
Live examples, of the people I know.
And can't find any.
I do see many examples of people dragged behind by their abusive and authoritative parents, troublemaker siblings, bratty kids, and - for those from former Communist countries :) - relatives did believe earlier in their lives that "money is evil" and "the state government will take care of us" and are now in deep financial need.
I do want to see evidence that it is possible to use your potential to the fullest to live not only your own life, but step in the lives of someone close to you. Or better yet, exceed your potential.
I want to know it's possible to have zero female role models in the family, but 2 female alcoholics instead - and still become a Wonder Woman.
I will gladly believe you can have a sick spouse and can still build a career, and have time for hobbies and sports - but seeing is believing...
What I notice though - and it might only be relevant to my circles, who knows :) - is that people who are most successful and happy tend to focus on their own lives and their own priorities ONLY.
And no, it's not just that.
They seem to have a totally different kind of family and friends: their siblings and kids are self-sufficient, their grandparents are in great health, their fathers respect and support them no matter what, their mothers are just like their best friends, their friends are well educated, adventurous and real "friends indeed".
Alright, I understand the concept of creating your own circle of friends and business connections, but how do you create a problemless family?! :)
And so I look at the people around me and it seems that you can be quite... mediocre and still get far ahead in life if no one drags you down. (Good news!).
And you can be brilliant and determined to help the near and dear to you, but even if that motivates you to work extra hard - you will probably find yourself not being able to get the most out of your resources for neither them nor yourself. ( Bad news!).
So, how do you solve this puzzle?
About resources.
How do you get ALL the resources you know you need?
If you need certain resources for your life's exponential growth and development - how do you ensure a supply of those resources in a constant proportion with your life's growth? :)
