Bang your head at the wall.
Sigh.
Sip tea.
Realize works tends to come your way and build up faster than you can do it. And the thoughts about current day and week, and about everything it would be nice to do - tend to build up and run ahead of you even faster.
Bang your head at the wall.
Feel - probably caused by all this rush - some thoughts in your head. Some about work. Some about... your other job. Some - about volunteering. Some thoughts - rhyming. Until it becomes completely unclear what you need to do now, and in what order. And if you need to write down your thoughts and ideas now - not to forget them later - which one do you begin with?
Print out your completed project. But you'd rather go running instead.
Bang your head at the wall.

I love Colorado summer - nearly 6 months of good weather stretched from mid-Spring to mid-Fall. On the other hand it's quite misleading: you live in a day with green grass and leaves not yet turning for weeks, and weeks and weeks until you realize it's actually mid-September. And a little over 3 months until 2017 is over. And there's so much to do, and nothing is completed: the evaluation team is not poked hard enough, 990s are not learned quickly enough (if they can be learned at all), pictures are not draws, Shakespeare's works are still not read. And don't be fooled - it's already September...

Suddenly.

I know what I will be doing next summer.
And what I'll do to get there.
And a specific way to arrange my life around it, and what to ask in the first place, and how to play the potential benefits.


Seems that any time it looks like there can be no less time or energy whatsoever to fit in anything else in my day - the Universe casually gives me a hint on how to put together all pieces of puzzle.
Thanks, Universe. I'm on it. B-)

Someone - I think it was Brian Tracy - once said that the number of potential errors in a process is the square of the number of people that are involved in it, moving from one step to another.


If that's just me - I can make 1 error. If I involve 2 more people - I create room for 4 more potential errors. That's true and proven on a daily basis :)


Right now though I feel like apart from creating an exponential growth of errors, every party I deal with is rolling time backwards so I'm held back on the same point for days: from figuring out a process by trial and error on my own to escalating a month (!) delay in evaluation.
Does it really take half-a dozen calls to coordinate something as simple as a ceiling light installation of window replacement?
How can you possibly spend a month searching for 1 envelope, when it only takes 36 hours to locate it AND go through the contents - but after an escalation?
How can you find 1 document out of 3 in an envelope - and keep saying the other 2 pages were not there?
Wouldn't it be quicker and easier - on everyone - to include some instructions and hints for a new task? No, personal remarks and conflicting messages are not professional instructions.
Do I absolutely have to follow up on every thing I request?
I'm already doing plenty of volunteer work of my own choice. Where did you get my phone number?


So, every time I start thinking about MBA or PhD studies, and international work, a house remodeling project, a surgical procedure  - I can't help thinking what mayhem it will create tying to get though bureaucracy of registrars', collecting all necessary documents, organizing and coordinating people in different time zones and of different cultures, following up on every step of a project every day and running around trying to fit in calls and meeting people live into my already insane schedule, wasting hours bein on hold with hospitals and insurance companies and then trying to understand the bullshit basis of accounting they use on the bills and claims.
No thanks - not until I work close to home, and have a second independent and reliable source of income.


Arthur just said the other day he needs one Mom for himself, one for Adrian and one - to do the cooking. I'm already embodying all these 3 "selves" (and many more), but the idea or a virtual PA sounds more and more appealing now.

I have slept for 7 hours for four days in a row and now my mind is playing tricks on me

and generates most random dreams, the first dreams in weeks, maybe months.

Why would my subconscious mind show me a person I haven't seen in over a decade, and in circumstances that are not true to life and never were, with dialogues and intentions that are not realistic? In any case, looks like my mind is recovering so I  would just let it do its thing.

Nevertheless I found the last online dialog I had with this person a year ago, read it and then read into it again, and then I realized how pushy I might seem sometimes with my style of communication, with how many details I provide , and how my descriptions sound like one flow of thoughts. And how unusual, overwhelming and challenging this might be true a the other party who do not describe the past few years of their life with neither much excitement nor bigger vocabulary than social protocol prescribes.