between a group of... women who howl about all the difficulties of being a women in the modern world and a group of women and men who push back with "oh, why being so negative?" and "let me just tell you about all the problems men have" respectively - it's the happy realization on how lucky I am not to think in such terms and not to live in a world where there is always some fat bully above me just waiting for the next chance to ruin my life.
Not that I live in the perfect world of sunshine, rainbows, puppies, zero gender pay gap and adequate maternity support - I have had my experience with job loss following having a child, being pushed around by male colleagues and managers who did not know what was going on in the department close to how well I knew it (parce que c'est il qui "porte le cravate" (c) ), was approached with random offers of sex by random men and was denied a bank account opening and apartment rental... no, wait, the last two actually occurred due to my origin, not gender :) But I absolutely can not understand how bashing men online for something they screwed up years ago can help improve somebody's life. And having a thread of dozens of comments where anyone is trying to out-misery everybody else with her own miserable experience indicates there's clearly something more than mere venting going on. Men can never understand us because they don't get pregnant, give birth or "even bleed every month" <sic>. Right. How much more can this fact ruin your life?
I can handle the feeling of "life is not fair" coming around every couple of months and always being replaced by the feeling of "I'ma show you how great I am"(c), but I can't possibly imagine living 24/7, year after year feeling insignificant, misunderstood, ignored, abused, used... Growing this feeling inside me, nurturing it, giving in to it... I wouldn't be able to.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Thursday, May 19, 2016
5 am. Dinning room.
It's chilly in the house and the entire dining table is covered with kinetic sand and molds, colouring books and pencils. The birds outside are just starting to go crazy, and I have a huge mug of coffee and hope I won't wake anybody up with the sound of keystrokes.
I have - again - hit the "no time to do it all" wall. Every so often I start to realize at the back of my head I start to run out of resources - time and energy. It obviously is cyclical although not periodical or proportional to the amount of work complete - so hard to predict when it will happen next, and at what point exactly and what projects will affect.
The last exam is coming up - and this time I'm glad I allocated 1 week more for preparation, than for REG. I'm half way through the section and not only I can't memorize all the rules and regulations for every single audit situation for Issuers and Non-issuers... I can't even always soak up the logic behind this and constructively organize the principles in my mind, or draw the pictures to enhance mnemonics (by now I've used Castro doing a presentation for a group of retirees, Snowden abandoning his citizenship, the monuments of Washington DC, terrorists targeting a group of Japanese tourists in Paris... but I feel I'll have to get really creative with the AUD section!), or -bad enough - even understand the meaning of a homework question sometimes!
Every morning starts with a 5K followed by abs exercises. Every morning as I step on the treadmill I keep telling I have to be super careful today not to have an accident by losing balance and falling down on treadmill, or falling asleep behind the wheel, or poisoning myself on caffeine, or smashing into something while trying to attend to both demanding boys at the same time, or just giving up and falling my face down into a frying pan while cooking dinner.
And then there's a deadline for 2 articles coming up. And so many things to be completed and arranged before mid-June. Just in case I ever feel nostalgic about this time in my life: I know long and hard period of growth always precedes a big growth spurt, and judging by all I'm into right now... well, I can't wait to see what the next level I'll get to will be like!
I have - again - hit the "no time to do it all" wall. Every so often I start to realize at the back of my head I start to run out of resources - time and energy. It obviously is cyclical although not periodical or proportional to the amount of work complete - so hard to predict when it will happen next, and at what point exactly and what projects will affect.
The last exam is coming up - and this time I'm glad I allocated 1 week more for preparation, than for REG. I'm half way through the section and not only I can't memorize all the rules and regulations for every single audit situation for Issuers and Non-issuers... I can't even always soak up the logic behind this and constructively organize the principles in my mind, or draw the pictures to enhance mnemonics (by now I've used Castro doing a presentation for a group of retirees, Snowden abandoning his citizenship, the monuments of Washington DC, terrorists targeting a group of Japanese tourists in Paris... but I feel I'll have to get really creative with the AUD section!), or -bad enough - even understand the meaning of a homework question sometimes!
Every morning starts with a 5K followed by abs exercises. Every morning as I step on the treadmill I keep telling I have to be super careful today not to have an accident by losing balance and falling down on treadmill, or falling asleep behind the wheel, or poisoning myself on caffeine, or smashing into something while trying to attend to both demanding boys at the same time, or just giving up and falling my face down into a frying pan while cooking dinner.
And then there's a deadline for 2 articles coming up. And so many things to be completed and arranged before mid-June. Just in case I ever feel nostalgic about this time in my life: I know long and hard period of growth always precedes a big growth spurt, and judging by all I'm into right now... well, I can't wait to see what the next level I'll get to will be like!
Thursday, May 5, 2016
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