The past week went under the motto of "buy a goat - sell the goat". Just as I suddenly got a goat on my plate - well, 3 actually - and then got rid of them life became much more tolerable.

Although I'm still contractually obligated to produce 50 hours a week, and although I'm used to working an average of 50hrs/week at a full time corporate position, I am somewhat slowing myself down from recording all the time I spend my reflections on whether my time spent was indeed 120% productive. Need to pretend I am a bog important lawyer and start billing every 5 minutes I spend on a client, and stop shaving off 1-2 hours a day already, before I fall behind on hours.



A new experience that came into my net this week was a sudden promotion within one UN upcoming project: they offered me to review and proofread. Walking around happy and proud of myself at a mere thought of it! I was just wondering how it happens than when I translate 4 simple lines from English to Russian I end up with 8! But looks like I'm on the right track.

There’re days when even the air around  is still, void and old. Sniff the air - and you know no changes are coming any time soon. Time to keep your head down and work, make progress, build up resources, build up your own resistance and wait for a better moment.

And then there’re days when you can sense the wind of change all around you: fresh, promising, full of hope. Giving you the alert to be ready for the long-awaited to emerge, the anticipation of the new and better. Evolving courage to go with the flow and trust your instincts for nothing can go wrong and the Universe will take care of you and place you exactly where you need to be.

...I left gym at 11pm tonight and walking home through the open space felt the change of wind. From still and heavy feeling of two days ago, it brought the sense of strength, calmness and an up move. And when I literally walked up the hill I saw huge full moon right above the lights of Centennial - usually the residential area of Centennial has no lights at night, but tonight the far end of the open space of our community ended in a silent void for miles ahead and rising above were the floating islands of lights and the surreal moon. All - like a picture of a different dimension woven by the wind in the night sky as I was walking towards it. It seemed all I had to do was just to make one step closer and stretch out my hand...

Only late in the evening did I start to realize the whole meaning of the news.

No more exams. No more tedious studies for the exams. No studies through Tax season! No stress of missing the deadline for credit expiration. No more of living hell of being stuck in uncertainty.

Freedom. Empowerment. Ability to move on in life. Ability to chose what to next.

I've counted 900 more work hours I need at the firm; the interesting thing here being - my old hours from 3 years ago expiring for licensing purposes and I am gaining new ones. In any case, I estimate 6 months as the latest I will need to wait before the official application process.

I already went to my goal page to cross off the goal on passing the last exam this year, but then I realized the goal actually read "to have the license in hand". Well then, just a little more time...

By the way, when I was going through my books - to give them to a next potential candidate - I found a sheet of paper folded and stuck between pages. In FAR book.

I don't know how many times I've changed today.

I think all I did was running around, changing clothes, accepting calls and messages, rushing-rushing-rushing...

From a hairdresser appointment at 7am (yes, on a  Saturday morning), to a swimming class for Chill Sr (while trying to pull Chill Jr away from the side of the pool), to quick lunch with friends and Liz (we stole the idea of catering with Mad Greens from my firm, from the lunch we had there yesterday), to Room Escape quest game (with a spy theme, and 1 hour is definitely not enough! Unless you want to cheat and cash in all your clues and prompts), to rushing back home and chinchilling with Chills who woke up soon after we came, to going to Von Zobel's favourite Helga's to fight off his deschnitzelization (yes, it's a condition), to working (Birthday is not an excuse to miss a day!) and finishing up Chill Jr's scrapbook (because the younger one must have anything the older one has... not to create precedents on playing favourites).





Sometimes I feel like I crushed into my Terrible Thirties full-speed: starting a completely new challenging and interesting job, starting up.... a start-up; a professional license, 2 kids, running 5Ks, taekwondo, articles on personal efficiency, productivity and time management, UN volunteering, reading all of Shakespeare works and researching options for Masters degrees and PhD...

But then I remember I've been in my Terrible Thirties for a long time now. Maybe my life shaped accordingly. And still, there is so much now I've always wanted and raced for, and that I now enjoy having and feel so grateful for. And do not believe anyone who says overachievers can never be happy as they always need to have more. We do long for more, but we are happy with what we have here and now, and we are happy in the process of moving forward, exploring, doing and experiencing. If I were to complete this life now - I would die completely satisfied of what I've done so far ( and curious of what the next life will bring!)
However, I still have an unfinished business in this life...