5 days till the New Year

I do well getting through sleep deprivation (for the past 12 years), and only hope I do memorize the parts of the Audit course that I believe I memorize well with all the time I keep putting in.
My car is perfectly clean, but I still back out of the madness of the parking lots cautiously, praying I do not hit anything or anyone.

I juggle  so many things at home that I keep my toes crossed that while I am finishing up something urgent at one part of the house, the mess the Chinchillas Bros create at another part of the house will not be dangerous to them.
I have a signed contract in hand and a start date - and being back on the track brings me more relief than anything else in the world now.

I have mastered all 3 blocks and get a much better feeling of my body during the movements. I fool around and while only my partner can hear me instead of "Kiap" yell "Namaste!". "Yes, right, - grins my partner, - the vengeance in me...."

I have wrapped up 3 pile of gifts for 3 toddlers and shipped back the laptop whose CD-rom sounded like the entire thing was going to take off into the air and fly out of the window every time I was going to install QuickBooks. And I do need a functioning laptop with Quick Books, Office, Tax and Engagement for next year.

I have written 4 articles on productivity and time management in the past 6 months. I have challenged my own productivity and time management skills as I know them and - only the coming year will show what other tricks I have up my sleeve.

I have a couple of travel projects existing as dry plans. "Just add water" - that is, just add some money for the actual booking and time for the travel and follow the directions for locations, transportation and itinerary.

I have patiently introduced Arthur to swimming and he is doing great, which means I can't pull him out now, but also need to find a way to bring Adrian  to classes.

Von Zobel has booked a spring-summer trip to Europe, and the anticipation has already started for both of us. Just need to decide on a destinations for a few short trips within our vacation.

I think about all the things I want in New Year, all the new goals I need to set for myself now - and nothing comes to mind, apart from balancing all the things I am rushing into 2017 with and not letting a single thing drop out of my hands. I feel like I am already running at full speed and might need several months to get adjusted to new life style where I finally have what I wanted before I want... start to want anything else.

But then I still pencil down a couple of things  - just so I don't forget. And then two more - in case an opportunity emerges. And before I know it I have 10 specific things I want to do next year. And in the next 5 days, I'm sure I will come up with even more ideas.

In the past few days I managed to screw up some insane number of times, hurt myself, burn a plastic lid by accidentally turning on wrong over and ruin a pile of cleaning rugs by forgetting to take them out of washer for 2 days. Also broke a plastic board - this one for the sake of practice on the taekwondo class.

The bruise under the left eye is almost gone.
I have a pile of gifts for 3 toddlers to pack. 
Somehow in this one morning I managed to buy box of crayons for Arthur's whole class, sign a gift tag for each box and stick a small chocolate to finish each of the 15 creations; followed by packing and signing gifts for Arthur's teachers. I sense the work will double in a year :)

Last Saturday afternoon I found myself at a baby shower of a friend (so amazingly organized by the way!) where I was literally seating in a room full of Accountants and Financiers. A very interesting feeling - to find myself in the club house of the community we have our condo at, but as a guest (rather than showing it to potential tenants) - and be among Russian-speaking females who work for banks, mortgage companies, public accounting, industry accounting... And have kids :) So stories about hardship of lives of working moms of 2 followed and could be pretty discouraging in the light of recent events had I not had made certain decisions for the next 5 years of my life.

The evening that followed though I found myself in quite a different company, but that of accomplished professionals too, and the conversations we had could not have been more reassuring and uplifting, including the parts needed to be read between the lines. Everybody struggles with bringing up children and no one knows what your biggest struggles will be; it is possible to have 3 children and have a great life; it is possible to have 4 children even and still have a great life (including great looks and a great Christmas tree); long years of self-development and growth as a professional - is very  normal; managing many projects simultaneously- is very normal too.
My bruise works extremely well as a conversation starter, by the way, outshining the Christmas tree from a good layer of makeup. I should probably ask Arthur to hit me somewhere in the cheekbone in a couple of weeks.

The office I have to go to for the interview is 20 minutes away

that is, not considering the traffic. In traffic the drive will be about an hour long. However, none of the locations in DTC,  Greenwood Village or South Denver offer such a great position with 3 areas of specialization and flexible schedule.

I am ready for my job search to be over, to start spending my time in a much more productive way, to leverage the knowledge and experience I have. So this job looks like the right solution.

 

I just need to find a way to integrate my own tax practice into my new schedule.  And Arthur's swimming classes. And my taekwondo lessons, - apart from gym that is. And I need to negotiate new work hours with the nanny, and find a way to cook a meal in 15 minutes and to clean the entire house in 1 hour, apparently... And right now I have no idea how I will manage to get there but I now I will, because now I only have 1 exam left and the studying is exhausting and tedious, and I have a black eye that is impossible to hide under make up now, even for the interview, and a shin splint which becomes worse now that I wear high heals, and I should have eaten something substantial before the interview - if only I had time. And everything around me becomes so heavy and tiresome, even that lead snow cloud that I'm driving under, that I almost feel tears dripping down the bruise concealing make up all the way to my blouse and trousers. As if what I really need right now to make this year complete is to burst into tears right during the interview.

 

But the harder and more confusing it becomes to navigate any segment of my life, the most certain it is that I will find all the right answers and put together the best strategy to get further. And to be honest, I prefer facing any difficulties and turbulence than being stuck at one point with no change at all. Swamp of routine is never good. Chaos - is somewhat a good sign though, a good start. I might not have a cheat sheet with all the right moves, and I do waste a great deal of my resources and every step up comes at a high price,- but at least 30 years down my life (almost) running up an ice hill still makes more practical sense than waiting for a right time and thus slowly gliding down.

A year from now I will look back and smile. I always do.

Chaos is definitely a good beginning.

 

When your 3 year old suddenly listens to you, but the moment is wrong.

- Mom, help me!
- Chinchill, get dressed. You do it well!
- No, help me!
- But you're big enough to do it yourself!
- No, I'm a little boy.
- Ok, I'll hold your pants for you. Jump in!

And at the moment I bent holding Dr. Chill's pants low for him, he came right below my face and actually jumped.

...He did accuse me or hurting him in the head with my face later. I was just happy my left eye was spared and that a 3 year old can't actually sue his Mom for throwing her face on his head. He would have won.  Nine months of exclusive breast feeding do show now when it comes to strength, brain and development.

...Told my Taekwondo instructor that my blackeye is the result of practicing the newly acquired MA skills, for a moment he seemed to have believed me. And I can't wait to get my uniform already so I can officially look like a kung fu panda :)

Mum emerged at the horizon.

Crystalized out of thin air after a few years of not talking to me.
Saying she regretted not being a part of my life for so long, not taking interest in her grandsons or me, not reaching out to me with even a word of support or a piece of advice when I felt worst and needed some help most. Saying she not wants to come over and help with her grandsons, and watch them grow, and maybe start her life over at a new place, start a small seamstress/tailor business...

...Just kidding of course, all she wanted from me was money. Urgently.

Of course, now I am her "daughter and friend", and this time a fraudulent employer got her into trouble, and...

Damn! Where did I take a wrong turn in my life to have my own family sincerely approach me whenever they need financial support, time with my kids, assistance with property acquisition, help job search, banking... And what happens with their sincerity, niceness and sweetness during... other times? Bloody hell, these are not even relationships within Corporate America or the scope of those acquaintances that end up on Facebook for the benefit of mutual like'ing and vain superficial comments! Am I sending wrong signals? Am I sending wrong signals to everyone else too then? Making an impression of a go-to person for trivial stuff, a pair of actively listening ears, endless empathy? How would I even occur to somebody as a girl with a variety of unlimited resources? Time, emotional, psychological and intellectual resources in the first place, and I guess - some willingness to blow it all?