Just yesterday I had a brief conversation about the toddler weight curve

and how it has to be pushed up, or rather - there is no way it was not pushed up. For seeing a drop from 25 percentile to "a little under 15 percentile" in 1 year is a little misleading when you look at a little guy who still has his real biceps :) and has an appetite of a young growing man :) (knocking on the wood).
On the other hand, I strongly suspect he has inherited his father's genes when it comes to body and metabolism.
However, he was not born in a family committed to Vegetarianism or Paleo diet either.

And just this morning I realized my clothes size in a couple of stores I usually shop at is XS. With some XS tops actually being lose underarms - which should be impossible and unnatural given my height, body type and the fact that my ribcage was the only part of my body that did not restore to its pre-natal size after childbirth.
I am pro- adjusting standards when it comes to an average body type, body image, fashion, health, technology, education. Pret-a-porter are in the constant evolution mode, it would be stupid not to use the modern average body type for today's production (and the average body type is hardly ever used, but it's a whole different story). But when in 7 years I go from M (for length or height) to XS - the evolution must be speeding up in geometrical  progression :)
This is misleading. This is so misleading I don't see where it is going.

First, I just realized it is actually year 2014.

While writing down my goals, it did finally get to me it is year 2014. The end of 2014. Ten years ago - ten bloody years ago!!! - I was already a student at a high end European University, and at this time of the year in 2014 I was finishing up my first official work at a big Five Star Swiss Delux hotel. Ten years ago.

Second, - and this is most shallow and superficial, but as an integral part of my life now is worth saving for my offsprings :)  - I've just thought about how great it is to have a strong willpower that would keep you from eating in the evening. That is, this thought crossed my mind after I actually kept myself from eating in the evening. :)  Me. Feeling good about having and using willpower. Embracing-the-possibility-of-being-a-person-without-control-over-my-own-mind!  Dear 17 y.o. me, did you even hear that?! :)

O-la-la-la-la....

(found at http://www.photographersdirect.com/buyers/stockphoto.asp?imageid=1180138 )

One of those weeks

when you feel like all your time and energy are spent on supporting activities to the most extent and that still required a 100% input. In short -  lots of useful things were done, but not too much progress made.

I wish there was a way to outsource an impromptu coaching of an insurance company as well as  large airline on how to handle claims that are almost 1 year old, and how to escalate issues when your partners are not replying to your emails for over 6 months...

Or a way to delegate very meaningful conversations at tire shops after 2 hours of wait. No, there is no way my winter tires can be that bald after 2 seasons. No, these all-season tires are way more warn out than mine would too. You know what? If these tires came off this car - great, because this is not my car either. No, I do not drive a Subaru. No, I have no idea where my car is or where my key is, I did leave the key with you. Yes, I do hope too the car will be found quickly and that the owner of that Subaru did not leave in it. :)

Or - talking with half a dozen people in an insurance company to simply check if they partner with a certain hospital, and still not being able to find anyone who could confirm this.
Or running around from teacher to administration of the daycare trying to find brand new winter boots sz 4-5 that were, doubtlessly, grabbed by someone by mistake and, doubtlessly, were still not recognized as a pair that does not belong to their child.

On the bright side, I did enjoy being part of a wonderful romantic dinner at a French Bistro and a movie night out, seeing new Hunger Games. That will count as November events & outings. :)

On the not-sure-how-I-feel-about-it side, the estimated cost of all the activities for  continuing education and self-development  is  about $10K. For some reason, none of those people who talk about setting goals advise to pick goals that are within your current budget :) I guess once I am established as a world-known greatest Life Coach I will have quite a few new concepts to bring in :)

DOOM

As Von Zobel was watching me taking a 10 minute stress management break, chasing monsters with a shotgun, I remember a little anecdote I had to tell him.

DOOM-II was quite a popular game when I was about 8; I played it on my uncle's computer when I access to it was granted to me :) and I knew a few more kids who played it too. However, we all were in groups learning English as the second language, we were of course interested in understanding the name of the game - but we could not.
Because none of the dictionaries we could get our hands on had the word.
I can't remember what the deal was with the English-speaking adults around, the teachers of English or IT in school, but the fact was - we could not dig up the word anywhere.
So then we decided, that the word "DOOM" must be made up specifically for this game (yep, because if something is not in a dictionary for school-aged kids it simply does not exist!), and - that it is a combination of the words DOor and roOM (because you have to move through corridors between all sorts of rooms with monsters, and open all sorts of doors!).
Makes perfect sense, right?

...It was in a couple of years when either my best friend got a computer WITH internet connection, or I inherited a huge Oxford English dictionary from ex-owners of our new apartment, or we got one of our computers in computer lab hooked up to Internet at school... that we did at some point look up the word.
The meaning was definite, but somewhat disappointing.

"The feeling of relief and optimist is brought to you this morning by... your doctor!"

Indeed. As I was walking out of the doctor's office I got a hint of that long forgotten feeling that changes to better are yet to be seen just around the corner. Such a touch of anticipation of great outcome for whatever comes along. I did need it back, just like a reminder that I am strong and have quite some work to do, and just as I still need a good laughter. I should visit my Doctors more often. 

Meanwhile, in the next hour I finally made it to Korean and Russian stores after months of planning, and stocked up on duck and rabbit meats, liver and chicken gizzards, squid, pomegranates and persimmons, smoked cold cuts, churchkhela, khalva and Russian marshmallows. Yay to gastronomic diversity!

And then there were studies,  and more studies at Toyota center while waiting for my little tank, drinking green tea, eating those Russian marshmallows and trying hard not to fall asleep but to keep reading about GAAS and IAS. Oh, it must have been GAAS and IAS  that were making me so sleepy... Spent the last hour before picking up Dr. Chill at the Library, studying again and feeling happy about having a place to hang out at and save commute time. Dr. Chill has had a great day too: due to one of the teachers getting sick and the last moment redistribution of kids he ended up playing with his old friend all afternoon. It's amazing how those two little guys can form friendship and remember each other after 2 weeks at such a young age. I always thought socials bonds and memories is something children develop by the age of 3 or so.

Now that it's a little break between exams, I'll need to finish my little life clean up project I've been postponing for  a week. Every time i am about to start, I realize I can't get rid of most of my clothes, because I don't know for sure what I will do in the next 6 months :) and I don't know if some of those books will be of use to me again, and if I ever have time on the plane to read all those National Geographic and Smithsonian magazines...  And cleaning up people and relationships looks even worse. I am a compulsive relationship hoarder :)
But just as I start, and then will get a taste of it...

A long angry post about gender specifics of sharing life experience and emphasizing values in womens' blogs could have been published here.

But there will be none.
Because after 10 minutes of reflecting on virtual paper I realized I was reinventing the wheel and boiled it all down to a short advice.

If you are a female in urgent need of inspiration in any part of your life - do go read Forbes or the Economist. Do NOT search for life inspiring examples or tips in blogs and amateur articles of women who belong to your Zone of Proximal Development.
For gender hell breaks loose in their blogs...

The cure.

I love days when absolutely everything is in my favour. I get up earlier than usual, there is no traffic on the way to daycare and back, the study material gets organized and memorized ok by the brain :), there is no line at the gas station (and that calls for some special star alliance I'd say), I get in and out of stores in a minute, with precisely what I was looking for, and the coupons work even if they were not supposed to, and a nail polish of precisely the colour I want gets founded, and the hormones are down, and the dinner gets cooked quickly and easily, and jogging is quite bearable, and the new book I started is so enjoyable!
Days like this save a tremendous amount of time and energy. :)

And then there are days when I have the weirdest dreams and I can't figure them out, and the morning is freezing and grey, and I feel lost and can't focus, and then miss gym because the insurance agent needs to stop by and take a look at the solar panels at a short notice.

And the best cure to this is not to wait for it all to end, but to twist the course of the day and let my little hooligan out. To do something irrational, unpredictable, and unexpected,  stick out the tongue and giggle. Then the universe shakes a little, things fall back into their places, but the day continues on a new trajectory, thoughts and body get lighter, the head becomes clearer, the smile stretches wider.

13 minutes of demotivation.

He is amazing. And his talk about drug addiction, depression, celebrities, health - is amazing. Life works in such a mysterious way that no intelligence, no talents, no hard work can protect you from yourself if one day not all pieces of puzzle fit well.

No happy ever-after is guaranteed when you're fully self-made, talented and smart. No crowd fills in the endless solitude within. There is no logic in suffering from depression and being stuck with bipolar disorder when your works and acting itself can prevent postpartum depression.

I hope he copes and feels much better. He just has to.