I guess whenever other people drink and do online shopping,  I have the same issue with Coursera. I've over a couple of dozens of courses in my queue, lost a track of some but they still do look good and relevant whenever I look at them. Yep, I've a new job. Yep, I'm new to the industry. And yep, I also want this course on Ancient Egypt civilization  - because I'm a fan, and the one on Game Theory - because I'm curious, and the one on International Development - because that's going to be my retirement job. And suddenly a Master's degree does not seem so useless anymore, and a few items drop into my library "hold" list, and the lines of the poems from back in London start to come together.

What a life changer  it is to work out of office close to home! Literally - 5 minutes away from Chinchillas's daycare! 4 days out of 6 I will be going to the office nearby, for the next 6 month at least - that's so many hours saved on commute given it takes around 1.5 hrs a day to drive to Lakewood in traffic!

On the other hand, I am glad I took the chance of going through entire Shakespeare works last year, when I had it. I just got my Odyssey CDs from the Library, and I'm at end of Disc 1 out of... 12 and it's hard to tell how I'm going to cope with it listening just 2 days a week. And then, there's also Iliad to cover this year...

An elementary Math problem: The mail with my 1st Bachelor's diploma shows its status as "delivered" as of October 5th.  Today's date is October 26th. The International Evaluation department of the Licensing Association I'm working with are claiming they are still processing mail delivered on October 1st. As of Friday last week - they were processing mail delivered on September 28th. I started evaluation application process in July.
Question: will I get my license in hand before I retire?




In good news: Taekwondo lessons are great. That exact feeling that you're at your place despite not knowing what you're doing and even doing... n'importe quoi. A little crazy to follow the instruction in 2 languages: given I've already picked up - purely by listening - some Slovenian and Latin, trying to repeat Korean makes me forget what planet I am on. But hey - as soon as I realized I will be training in a studio that's part of World Taekwondo Federation - or WTF, which is a very precise summary of my life - I knew I was at the right place.


Looks like the vein treatment went well, and if it did indeed - I may have to put off another surgery for now.


Another dozen of Shakespeare works left. I'm of course, a lucky witch, whose Bookworm-ing goal fell for exactly the time when my commute to and from work takes about 2 hours every day. A once-in a lifetime opportunity, if you're a looking at going through dozens of serious and sophisticated works that require you to understand the subjects and conflicts raised, appreciate the language and to get fully submerged into the literature style.

Finished Faust.

Hits the spot, Mephistopheles rocks and the tragedy will now be highly recommended by me to anyone going through an existential crises =)






Never thought one of my 2 favourite books is so close to being a fanfiction to Faust. Maybe because I practically know Master and Margarita by heart that all the parallels between Mephistopheles and the "court" of Woland, Auerbach's cellar and Woland's offering cigarettes and wine in the novel, Walpurgisnacht - and the Satan's Ball, Emperor's carnival and Woland's performance at Varieté ....


Just like playing a jazz improvisation piece for weeks and then hearing the original :)




Nevertheless, I do not love Master and Margarita any less now, and admire Pasternak even more (not that I ever doubted his genius), and some time - probably when I retire - I should improve my German to the point when I can read the original. In a few years though it will be interesting to come back to it, but to a different version of translation.

Amoung that dozen of books I got on Library book sale for just only $20 (mainly for Chill Sr)

I bought a small hardcover edition of Orwell's Animal Farm and finally got to read it. Sad, predictable, very sad and very predictable. I wonder why we have never hear of it in our Literature classes in school, let alone it being part of the school program. The 90-ies were the perfect time for studying works of this kind in school - things would have probably been different now, had our generation been raised able to be self-conscious, reasonable, critically thinking and analytical.

By the way, I still love book sales and am so happy to see book sales as part of US's culture and events! This time I tripped over Bulgakov, books of beginner's Japanese and Latin (seriously?! When would I have time for all this?), bunch of country travel guides... had to restrain myself and take none of that, of course :)  I still sometimes joke of having had a "hungry childhood" when being pointed at my excessive love for fresh fruit and veggies or some peculiar gastronomic preferences... but I definitely always had books in abundance as a kid - more in our home library than I ever read, - yet here I am :)

#26. Martin Eden.

On one hand, I feel frustrated and embarrassed I didn't pull myself together to make time to read this novel earlier. On the other hand, it does leave me with mixed feelings I doubt I would have had even a year ago. On the third hand Just as I could live every line talking about all the effort required for learning and all the challenges of self-improvement (and I love works about and biographies of autodidacts!), the last few chapters completely smudged the integrity of Martin's personality, leaving very much under doubt the phenomenon of adverse change in such a short period of time for a person of extraordinary will and abilities. I couldn't even explain what exactly does not seem true; maybe I already have Man's search for meaning too deep in me, overwriting the possibilities of fatal disappointments and apathy...

Snowing again. Heavy snowfalls forecasted.

The week started with cleaning up the driveway. Very fun, especially when you have an 18 month old toddler hanging around; thank God mine is as smart and patient as it gets - I was able to clean up the whole driveway. Nevertheless, to all 6 month pregnant girls out there - do not attempt!

Happy to have finished The Black Monk by Akunin.  It was getting a bit boring towards the end, although the final scene of the murderer escaping with a load of uranium, making plans about using the money on scientific breakthroughs, restoring himself as a scientist and finding new source of energy - not knowing he had already been lethally poisoned with radiation - got stuck in my mind for some time.

Next fiction in line - Pelevin. Smart, unpredictable and incredibly delicious! Read the first several chapters of The Sacred Book of the Werewolf - and after Akunin's attempts to depict woman's psyche, - it gives a special pleasure.

Caught myself ironing a shirt for a 18 month old guy :) Who would have thought!

Actually, cleaning up the whole house with Dr. Chill around is still doable. He can wipe furniture with dust cloth, even helped me wash the baseboards in the kitchen this week, put things back to their places, help me with the laundry - put dirty clothes in the washer or take clean dry clothes out of the dryer, and then sit on the clean dry laundry in the laundry basket  - he just loves that! And vacuuming! He's been checking on the vacuum cleaner 2-3 times a day for the past 3 weeks,- must be going through his vacuum cleaner phase, - so whenever I vacuum, he will shadow me holding on to the vacuum cleaner.

As for the Dr. Chill Jr, it feel like he is a pretty active guy too. Probably a bit more good natured than the older brother :) but just as active. Great - I can have them both exhaust each other! if I survive the next year with them I mean

There is something exiting and aspiring in thinking the 2nd pregnancy will only last for 3 more months. That all this constant self-discipline, hard work and inconvenience is only for the lesser part of the pregnancy. And then - life will get easier in terms of getting my body - and what's even more important, my brain - back in full use. Time flies with the second pregnancy so fast I'm only glad I manage to  jot down a few notes into my little pregnancy diary every now and then, otherwise I'ld only realized the whole speed of it once I was in hospital.

The improvements from my 1st pregnancy - my abdominal muscles still flex (I completely lost control over them end of 1st trimester of the 1st pregnancy); I am more flexible (was more swollen at this time of my 1st pregnancy a couple of years ago).

Downsides of this pregnancy - lungs (had to stop running half way into 1st trimester this time, and can already feel they are not functioning at their best); and back (my prenatal masseusse claims the right side of my back along the spine feels quite bad. Probably because when I have to carry Dr. Chill for 10-15 minutes straight, I do so with my left arm only while I am doing whatever I need to do with my right hand. :)  )

Another important upside is that I am still able to do 1/2hr of elliptical with my tummy!

Valkyrie

What I find hard to do after finishing a happy ending fairy tale is to adjust my brain back to the day to day flow of life, my mind is still grabbing on to new concepts too easily... Or it might be that it is still not too good at distinguishing between the real ideas of life enhancement and the fiction ones, even though they might date back to over a thousand years ago.

Not that I expected more from the book, - I expected it to be different. By the description and reviews I was picturing more battle scenes and a tale of a self-made super hero, and thank God the novel was nothing like that. After all the recent literature on women written by men, with the attempts to depict women's inner world that were - quite ridiculous, - this was finally a true to life glance at a young female's psychology, and showing thoughts and actions that did make sense.

All wrapped in Semenova's amazing style, as always.

And Soaked with her amazing vocabulary, as always.

It would not have been such a sweet fairy tale without the cornerstones of the plot being - having two brave brothers, a wise mentor, a fearless leader and eventually all your hopes and aspirations come true. Outside the books, an outsider leaves her home and family - and this is the end of the story. 

On the other hand, the Valkyrie emphasizes a great deal the need to belong: either to the family you were born into, or the family you create yourself. The objective reasons a young woman could never be fully independent in Slavik culture over a thousand years ago are obvious, and yet I have always been curious what is it like - to be an integral part of a larger community, what it feels like to belong to something much bigger than yourself... 

On the account of year 2014:

 At times it was hard, stressful and nerve-wrecking, but yet to the most part - interesting, successful and enjoyable. I am endlessly grateful for:

- my family's and my health,

- for the great work and study opportunities that presented and those that I grabbed after careful consideration (if only it was possible to be cloned and try more! :) ),

- for trips to Utah, Slovenia, Italy and California we took as a family of 3. For a crazy trip to Vegas that we took together just like in the good old times;

- for my wise, kind and amazing husband who tolerated me all these times when I did something insane again, opened my big mouth when I should not have, and never suggested to get divorced when I talked about plans for our future,

- for most wonderful Dr. Chill, who is incredibly bright, handsome, wit and has been our home's Sunshine for a year and 4 months now. He's a whole Universe and a miracle of his own; I could just watch him doing something new, hear him sing or say "mamamamammaaa" or "papapapaaaa" for minutes. At the same time, when I'm with him,  I always hear a countdown in my head - he's getting older, and this is irreversible, so hurry to by his mommy NOW.

- my family who helped and supported me, with Dr. Chill and in trips. A part of the family was around most of the year and had to bear with me more, a part of the family could now cross the Atlantics to see their grandson, and a part of the family simply kept their health stable this year - and I do appreciate all of it;

- all those few dozens of books I've read, and all the movies I've seen, all the museums and exhibitions I've been to. The more I discover about this world the more I realize how tiny, insignificant and immaterial I am :) And that is one of the things that pushes me forward.
And yes, I did enjoy re-discovering books by Strugatskie this year, as well as The Outliers - the latter confirmed I have been moving in the right direction all along.

Not every line item out of 20 of my 2014 Real Plans was fulfilled, but most important - were completed. I've also decided to never state a goal in a form that would include a 3rd party in an active voice. That is, to set a goal about something that is out of my control( even looking at friends or family). My list of goals for 2015 thus looks more... achievable though not easier.
16 new items - completely new and not overlapping with 2014 list, except, perhaps, new books to be read :)

And when I look at it I have a dual feeling of, from one hand, headbanging upon the wall - because I have no idea how to fill in all of this stuff into 365 days and keeping my sanity and health, and realizing I do not have enough resources for all of it,  or - that it has to either be a 2nd child or trips outside of town.
But from the other hand - I feel  that all these 16 goals, if achieved, will create the right pivoting point in my life, especially since it seems that my old life is cracking and falling apart, starting on the material level and now spreading on to people. And if I know myself well enough...

-What of music do you like?

- I don't listen to music.

- Why not? 

- Music evokes emotions.

- Emotions spawns genius...

- Emotions blur judgement!

                                 (LFN)

With all the indisputable genius of Fahrenheit 451 - one thing I found myself missing is the "future" projection of music and arts. Clearly, "bread and circuses" is always the easiest and cheapest way to sustain control over population; clearly - no thought-provoking education and behaviour would fit in, and the books have always been the first scapegoats under any dictatorship... but why aren't works of art and music recordings and scripts burnt just as fanatically? Neither, of course, will do much good without proper education about the historical and sociological context, the artists or composer's biography and history of the piece's creation, but they can still at least arise curiosity, can't they? Sparkle interest? A thought?

Anyhow, maybe more about this will follow in the second part of the book :) Another thing I really appreciate Bradbury done that did not ruin his work - is not bringing religion in the picture. As well as not pointing at The Enemy far in the distance, creating a typical dictator oppressing the nation.
A great feature of most mature books - the real enemy is not placed OUTSIDE of people.

Pelevin has a strange effect on me.

 Instead of  getting back to my 16-19 year old life period, playing it over and over again in my head and trying to find the errors and fixing them (mentally, or course, just in case they come up again as life lesson in the future :) )  - coming back to my 15 years, just before all that... ehm... adventure began.

And then again, of course - trying to go over the key events. But were there really so many key events that year, between 15 and 16?

Thoughts of the week

1. I should have read "To kill a mockingbird" a long time ago. I planned to open this book years ago, and while I never had enough time to start reading it, or had something else on my priority read-list, there already was so much from this little girl in me, all these years... And I can't help feeling a bit jealous of having older wise people around you at such a young age, and having a smart older brother. Well, the latter is what I always wanted anyway!

2. I never had time in the past 3 weeks to go over my new phone manual and learn about all its great functions and blah-blah, but I did download Any.do app, and am really amazed at how great it is, being so simple, and how helpful it can be for just the daily tasks. I still wouldn't be able to do without my Moleskine week planner and my goal notebook, but the ability of vocally jotting down a though as it crosses my mind and before it's gone too far, or walking around the house and making a list of things to do or fix - once again all vocally! - is priceless to me now.
Keeps my head clear of junk. Helps simplify my life. That's all I ever needed.