Getting my hands on paint - September project.

One day I'll get to the Christmas ornaments and the rest of the glass candle holders.

-What of music do you like?

- I don't listen to music.

- Why not? 

- Music evokes emotions.

- Emotions spawns genius...

- Emotions blur judgement!

                                 (LFN)

With all the indisputable genius of Fahrenheit 451 - one thing I found myself missing is the "future" projection of music and arts. Clearly, "bread and circuses" is always the easiest and cheapest way to sustain control over population; clearly - no thought-provoking education and behaviour would fit in, and the books have always been the first scapegoats under any dictatorship... but why aren't works of art and music recordings and scripts burnt just as fanatically? Neither, of course, will do much good without proper education about the historical and sociological context, the artists or composer's biography and history of the piece's creation, but they can still at least arise curiosity, can't they? Sparkle interest? A thought?

Anyhow, maybe more about this will follow in the second part of the book :) Another thing I really appreciate Bradbury done that did not ruin his work - is not bringing religion in the picture. As well as not pointing at The Enemy far in the distance, creating a typical dictator oppressing the nation.
A great feature of most mature books - the real enemy is not placed OUTSIDE of people.

Spain. Early 20th century. Born a woman? Enjoy!

Watching Gran Hotel and between learning to say: "Donde esta la carta?"  picking up some Spanish  - I can feel hair on my head move. What's scarier to be - a helpless rightless mother or a helpless rightless baby? An unwanted, unexpected baby. Almost killed right in the process of delivery. His mother almost killed in the process of his delivery - this time deliberately. And that's  not counting a potential abortion and mother's poisoning during pregnancy - but what's new there, really?

For a few miserable weeks the infant sleeps in an old chest, is wrapped in rugs, is left alone in the room, suffers severe malnutrition, co-sleeps with his Mom, never receives any medical attention or a single vaccination, is used for blackmailing,  kidnapped, freezes up in the woods during a thunderstorm and eventually - never recovers from illness.
His elder twin brother is a bit more lucky, closer to end of the series he is still alive and only gets stolen once, and not for long, and most of the time he spends all alone in his crib, wearing multi-layered dress with frills all over and a bonnet, not playing with anything or anyone, and apparently - not being fed anymore - but this is really just a negligible detail...

A fiction movie is a fiction movie, but I can't help thinking how lucky I am: during my whole pregnancy no one tried to poison me, buy my baby or force me into abortion. Since his birth, he was never used to blackmail his real father. He has actually been living since birth with his real father, who never tried to kidnap and send him away. He has a closet and a chest full of clothes he can wear and still move around. He can have as much milk as he wants, and as much of any other food as he wants  without rolling on the floor crying: "God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!"   . He has his own comfy bed to sleep in, his personal space, his toys.

I take a deep breath and breathe out with relief every time I think it's amazing that all basic needs of my child are already covered. He can focus on  growing, learning and developing, exploring the world around , getting to know himself better. I find it hard to imagine what would it feel like to spend every day with a tiny helpless person by your side, hiding him in a chest to protect, boxing up his whole life with my only concerns of his unsafety and hunger. Living hell.

Stress management quintessence

This Fall I'm a good girl - as I thought I needed  to go get a pass for the MMA room, I went out and got one. It feels great not to have any major limitations to regularly invest time in myself. And it's much safer too: I only broke a chair back, a towel hanger, a ceramic cow's ear, a couple of baby spoons, a white-out plastic case and probably a couple more negligible items in the past 2 months...

Cooking and listening to Mein Teil. My world is almost in harmony =)

Heute bin Ich gefullte Paprikaschoten.

Midway upon the journey of our life (c)

That is, just this year, I finally gave myself the liberty of believing that certain things are not meant to work well for me, and other things are just not worth to rely on.

Fall is usually time things get better and more adventures happen, and more new people show up in my life. If neither of the latter happens this Fall, at least I will have my karma life, cleaned up, neatly arranged and having more space for more of MY things to fill it with later. Starting with finally putting stuff in storage to its proper use:

And at the same time slowly taking off my black belt in Dead Horse Flogging: one of the coming days I will stop insisting on sustaining relationships with those who do not show reciprocal interest. It is amazing that it is now that this article came along:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-sabotaging-your-own-life-without-knowing-it/

Right things showing up at the right time, indeed. Each day of the past few weeks I've been realizing something new about how endlessly lucky I am; I do have an endless amount of various resources that can help me go anywhere I want. Help one way of another.

Apart from that, on the bright side: