Friday, July 28, 2017

Thinking outloud



When proponents of "family" as a necessary institution and a mandatory integral part of a life of any "socially-healthy and normal" individual explain the advantages of maintaining good relationships with close and remote family members - the arguments used revolve around the idea that family gives you strength, that the best moments in life are shared with your family, that the family shapes you into your best self, that your parents have made an investment - that no one ever will be able to match! - into you, in money, time, energy. That the seniors in your family will shower you with words of wisdom, care and support in difficult times, and the ones closest to you will always share the burden, and the ones you've helped - will return the favour. And if this is not how things have worked out for you - than there's definitely something wrong with you, ungrateful looser.



All in all - the family is viewed as the best thing that can happen to you, the best thing you will ever have and the main reason you work, stay healthy, educate yourself, have a social life, have a romantic relationship. And of course, we know that the biggest advocates of rules (let alone the creators) - are those who benefit from them the most - but this is a point I will come back to some day later.



The 2 questions I have following the imposed statement though are:


Should blood ties ( or any blood ties of blood ties ) that create a feeling of misery and anger ; that suck out energy and feed on somebody else's hardship and problems; that tell lies and gossip behind the back; that demand commitment to living a life based on their needs and expectations; that use manipulations (especially sudden problems with health), psychological pressure; that are rude, insincere, immature and absolutely do not care about the consequences of their actions and behavior on other people's lives - be considered a family?

Can family - by the definition of people who make you feel stronger, better, more secure, happier - consist of friends and life mentors?








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