All the way along E470 where the road sides are neatly landscaped with multi-color pebbles and the open space on both sides is just too vast and bright. Big mall on late Saturday afternoon is heated all the way through and filled with people. I find myself standing near a crossroad with with my phone in hand, trying to figure out where the painting studio is, when I suddenly notice fountains to the left of me and kids trying to jump into the upright stream of water, and their mothers sitting at street cafe tables nearby, and the pretzel booth right in front of me, and a group of guys in their thirties wearing shorts and sandals throwing a glance as we walk past each other... and the sun keeps heating and heating up the pavement under my feet, and the Sun dazzles.
The feeling of a realness comes back to me. I feel like being on a mall on a Saturday evening, where everybody is just relaxing, having fun and wasting time - is not right for me. It is just like being lost somewhere in time, being several years back, where nothing of my presence life exists.
Or maybe, it would make sense to live this very moment in time at a different place right now: for example, celebrating the birthday of Switzerland, being there to live through this vivid outdoor experience right now.
But then, here I am. Scary to think what would become of my feelings and perception of reality should I not force push myself to normal life as soon as possible, following crucial and significant changes in my life.
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