"A child born in 2013 will cost a middle-income American family an average of $245,340"

George Schneider, http://seekingalpha.com/article/2440395-invest-wisely-or-prepare-for-sticker-shock-a-message-for-all-parents

Lovely. Now I don't have an excuse not to become a millionaire by 2015 :)

It is October 24th

And I walk home from gym with my hair completely wet. If anyone told me 15 years ago I could be walking with my hair wet wearing sport flip-flops end of October - I wouldn't have believed it.

What would my end-of-October look like in another 15 years? Walking home from gym in a hat and a jacket, or a summer dress? =)

On the more stable side... I can still do 5K. I've always suspected I'm somewhat a wonder woman...

Woman's intuition works in such a mysterious way

that it can drag you into a store you weren't even planning to set your foot in, and helps  you leave with 4 pairs of shoes.

For $120 total.
Saving 2/3 on this whole purchase.

Should listen to my intuition more often.

Ok, I got it.

Knowing that  I am a weird and unpredictable type of a person with a sophisticated character, and patience that tends to run out sometimes before a burning match goes out - God/Universe sent me my two absolutely perfect boys as my family.

The ocean is beautiful

the weather is great and the local fish for lunch is delicious. We've actually been very lucky with lunches: tried the best fish markets in the city for lunch and never been disappointed.  Dr. Chill was enjoying same white fish, grilled veggies and salad or jasmine rice we had, all with good appetite of growing young man :) Naturally, we were adjusting our menus to what a young toddler could eat, but it was well worth it!

I'm endlessly happy we made it to San Diego; it's been a while we travelled outside of Denver. Four long months to be exact.  Now we have a few day chance to reboot mind, enjoy the view of the ocean and being covered in sand, and driving along the coastline with no specific destination set, getting out of the car when we see a beach we like. That is not to mention more down-to-earth perks of our trip, like free beer at night  "receptions" in the hotel and amazing playgrounds, and the mere fact that no one got sick despite the chilly ocean wind every now and then.

All in all, no motivation will work without a high energy level. You can't push yourself go forward if you can't even stand up, and it is not procrastinating or being lazy, it is being paralyzed with fatigue when every breath is heavy and even lying in bed motionless your body feels like a deadweight.
No good motives will matter if I do not have resources to move forward.
When did I miss that?

First soup cooked in slow-cooker.

And yes, this is that authentic Russian soup that is only spelled using two letter in Russian, but in English goes under the intriguing name of Schtschi =)

All out of sudden I realized

the skin on my knuckles cracked and is bleeding. I've no idea when and how it happened, why the skin on my hand dried so quickly, and - how I am supposed to wrap this stuff at boxing tomorrow.

Apart from apparently being indifferent to light pain, I do not laugh either. I can't remember the last time I was laughing; laughing hard, to tears. And speaking about tears I can't remember the last time I cried either.

Several roofing contractors are in the community today, trying to sell roof work. Too late, too late. Everybody must have already had a contract signed and an estimate provided. But still 2-3 procrastinator are going from door to door: might be from the same company, might be competitors.

I am walking outside to the lawn and start cleaning it up, piling up the dry leaves and ramming them in a trash bag. Then I decide to do a good deed for today and clean up the leaves from our neighbour's part of the lawn - she seems to never have had time for this either. I look at two big trash bags, as the rain just starts to drip, - and think that I should not stop here, and do another good deed. For instance, I could put some candies in a bowl by the door, and stick a note to the door saying: "Hello! If you're here to offer help with roof inspection - Thank you! - but we've already contracted a team! Help yourself and good luck!"

A week till exam, and I work as hard as possible and do as many things as possible to burn all that nervous energy, so I can calm down by night.

My boots arrived this morning, so - hurray - I am ready for colder fall and winter weather! The only problem, after my Swiss boots it's not possible to be 100% happy with any other pair - there is always some tiny little bit of improvement that could have been done. I smile at myself thinking this puts me into the risk group for women who, in their thirties, point away their pinkies saying "Oooh! You understand, I can NOT drink bad coffee! No, I - literally on the physical level - CAN NOT wear such... bad clothes!".

Eyes dry.

6 months 24 days 23 hours  20 min 31 secs
http://www.genevemarathon.org/en/races

My lungs permitting and if everything else goes as planned, one day I might do 10K, or maybe, a Genevoise :) Not the coming year, of course... But some day.

On the agenda:

- complete roof replacement (the house was hit by hail so bad - it is a surprise that the window glass and solar panels did not crack);

- followed by gutters and window frame replacement;

- cleaning up the backyard and the lawn (again, after the hail the last tomatoes and zucchinis were destroyed almost to dust, and the trees and shrubs got a nice creative trim); 

- changing my hair colour;

- pulling myself up to higher score on practice tests. But still, not enough! This is not enough!!

- preparing for Art's transitioning to the next group (I also need to get him  a potty, warm fall shoes and boots, a bathroom step...)

- ordered 3 audio books by Strugatskye in Arapahoe LIbraries. Now that I think about it... what on Earth was I thinking?!...

- Planning new trips for the Q1 of 2015. 

- Crossing out line item #6 for Real Plans 2014. The life just transitioned to the Bucket List mode again. 

Getting my hands on paint - September project.

One day I'll get to the Christmas ornaments and the rest of the glass candle holders.

-What of music do you like?

- I don't listen to music.

- Why not? 

- Music evokes emotions.

- Emotions spawns genius...

- Emotions blur judgement!

                                 (LFN)

With all the indisputable genius of Fahrenheit 451 - one thing I found myself missing is the "future" projection of music and arts. Clearly, "bread and circuses" is always the easiest and cheapest way to sustain control over population; clearly - no thought-provoking education and behaviour would fit in, and the books have always been the first scapegoats under any dictatorship... but why aren't works of art and music recordings and scripts burnt just as fanatically? Neither, of course, will do much good without proper education about the historical and sociological context, the artists or composer's biography and history of the piece's creation, but they can still at least arise curiosity, can't they? Sparkle interest? A thought?

Anyhow, maybe more about this will follow in the second part of the book :) Another thing I really appreciate Bradbury done that did not ruin his work - is not bringing religion in the picture. As well as not pointing at The Enemy far in the distance, creating a typical dictator oppressing the nation.
A great feature of most mature books - the real enemy is not placed OUTSIDE of people.

Spain. Early 20th century. Born a woman? Enjoy!

Watching Gran Hotel and between learning to say: "Donde esta la carta?"  picking up some Spanish  - I can feel hair on my head move. What's scarier to be - a helpless rightless mother or a helpless rightless baby? An unwanted, unexpected baby. Almost killed right in the process of delivery. His mother almost killed in the process of his delivery - this time deliberately. And that's  not counting a potential abortion and mother's poisoning during pregnancy - but what's new there, really?

For a few miserable weeks the infant sleeps in an old chest, is wrapped in rugs, is left alone in the room, suffers severe malnutrition, co-sleeps with his Mom, never receives any medical attention or a single vaccination, is used for blackmailing,  kidnapped, freezes up in the woods during a thunderstorm and eventually - never recovers from illness.
His elder twin brother is a bit more lucky, closer to end of the series he is still alive and only gets stolen once, and not for long, and most of the time he spends all alone in his crib, wearing multi-layered dress with frills all over and a bonnet, not playing with anything or anyone, and apparently - not being fed anymore - but this is really just a negligible detail...

A fiction movie is a fiction movie, but I can't help thinking how lucky I am: during my whole pregnancy no one tried to poison me, buy my baby or force me into abortion. Since his birth, he was never used to blackmail his real father. He has actually been living since birth with his real father, who never tried to kidnap and send him away. He has a closet and a chest full of clothes he can wear and still move around. He can have as much milk as he wants, and as much of any other food as he wants  without rolling on the floor crying: "God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!"   . He has his own comfy bed to sleep in, his personal space, his toys.

I take a deep breath and breathe out with relief every time I think it's amazing that all basic needs of my child are already covered. He can focus on  growing, learning and developing, exploring the world around , getting to know himself better. I find it hard to imagine what would it feel like to spend every day with a tiny helpless person by your side, hiding him in a chest to protect, boxing up his whole life with my only concerns of his unsafety and hunger. Living hell.

Stress management quintessence

This Fall I'm a good girl - as I thought I needed  to go get a pass for the MMA room, I went out and got one. It feels great not to have any major limitations to regularly invest time in myself. And it's much safer too: I only broke a chair back, a towel hanger, a ceramic cow's ear, a couple of baby spoons, a white-out plastic case and probably a couple more negligible items in the past 2 months...

Cooking and listening to Mein Teil. My world is almost in harmony =)

Heute bin Ich gefullte Paprikaschoten.