I have slept for 7 hours for four days in a row and now my mind is playing tricks on me

and generates most random dreams, the first dreams in weeks, maybe months.

Why would my subconscious mind show me a person I haven't seen in over a decade, and in circumstances that are not true to life and never were, with dialogues and intentions that are not realistic? In any case, looks like my mind is recovering so I  would just let it do its thing.

Nevertheless I found the last online dialog I had with this person a year ago, read it and then read into it again, and then I realized how pushy I might seem sometimes with my style of communication, with how many details I provide , and how my descriptions sound like one flow of thoughts. And how unusual, overwhelming and challenging this might be true a the other party who do not describe the past few years of their life with neither much excitement nor bigger vocabulary than social protocol prescribes.

I hardly ever have repeating dreams.

If I ever had, I can't remember them now.
Now, twice this week with slight variations, I've seen myself coming to an interview in some 20+ floor office building; second time - a hotel, but still being somewhere on 20+ floor. The interview goes as normal, but for some reason I bring in my teal laptop bag full of my lehrstoff, the bag is heavy as usual, but I keep carrying it on my shoulder as the interviewer shows me around after the interview. And once we say goodbye and I walk outside I find myself walking on a glass floor, above the offices, next to the building's wall but with no wall outside.
I walk till I see there is no exit on this side, neither a way to get back inside the building and turn around to go back.
But by this time the width of glass ledge is only about a third of what it used to be.
I keep walking, and this time there is no way to get back into the building at all, as the ledge is getting more and more narrow as I walk until finally my laptop bag starts to gets hit by the wind gusts and pull me down and make me start losing my balance.
In the second dream though, a woman, another interviewee appears behind a window to ask how my interview was and say good bye. I can't help thinking what a moron she is - seeing that I can neither move on the thin ledge anymore - in my high heals and a heavy bag, but not offering any help. So I smile and ask her ironically:
- Could I please trouble you with opening this window?
She shrugs, face is blank. Clearly, she can't understand why I would ask her that.
- If that's so crucial for you...
"Of course it's crucial for me!" - I think, annoyed. Try not to fall down while she opens the window out - right above my head, barely manage to lift up my heavy laptop bag and start to climb in.

Tough summer.

The  more I push back the more challenges life throws at me, the louder I yell "No pasaran!" in return - the less time I have.
Maybe all I need to do is really to just let it all go for a while?

On the bright side, I prioritized 2 part-time locations for... when the life begins. Now that I am sure of what I want, let's see what'll become of it.

The biggest challenge right now (and ever) is sustaining self-discipline. All I want to do now is to grab the marshmallow and run, accept one of those Account Manager positions and forget this year-long leap of faith ever happened. Thank God I'm stubborn.

Funny enough, dreamt of one of my old friends last night. An acquaintant of mine and I were travelling to Suisse and at one point I left her mountain skiing at night (!), and paid a visit to my friend. He was not home, so I decided to wait for him and after a while saw a little white board in the corridor where he had a list of things to do written down; among others: do that many sets of crunches or do that exercise that many times... I took a black marker and wrote: Drop 2-3 sizes and buy a corset.
And left his apartment.