I logged out of my second International Markets Finance exam

 with a strong feeling that it is as bad as it gets: the final tasks was to summarize Dodd-Frank reform: one sentence for each title...

Nevertheless, the Bank Analysis project proved me completely wrong.
I looked at the task list and understood that this project alone should weigh full course worth credits. There was so much to do, that even with the instructions and UBPR already distributed to us I could hardly imagine where to begin to get the best use of my time (which I barely had).

By the time I fished out all the numbers and was done with the calculations for DuPont analysis I got pretty optimistic about finishing this project by the end of summer semester :) NIM and Burden analysis got me completely lost in UBPR: could neither understand where the numbers in the example came from, nor - how the calculations in the example were done and results were obtained if the formulas in the instructions were used.

By the time I got  to peer analysis I realized I would only finish this project when I retire.
The analysis itself was, as always, the least painful part. The bank sucked badly compared to its peers throughout my whole analysis sections - luckily for me, since the actual entity was shut down in 2008...
With project and tasks like this, I sometimes feel it's not even possible to get the bottom of it ; but eventually,  with just a bit great deal of persistence, flax seeds oil, coffee and Visine - I manage to break through. Some time after that the story repeats itself =)

The bottom line and the note to self: to go over this post if I ever decide to go to grad school.

Somethimes I feel that if I take one more step forward - I will die

... and then I will fall down on the ground and fall asleep =)

"Tap to the left... or to the right...." (c)

I made myself an unexpected gift this year and... somehow, from out of nowhere, I was able to download Liquidator.

I've no idea why for the past many-many years I only remembered about this computer game right before this New Year. Of course, I was already getting a different impression of the game now; some things did not seem to be that exciting anymore, some seemed just absurd...

... But nevertheless I got carried away by a wave of memories of how, these many-many years ago I played this game with my school best friend, on her computer, in her room. Back then this was one of the few Russian action computer games, something rather original... We had one keyboard so we had to  share our responsibilities in such a way that my friend was navigating while I was jumping, shooting and opening the doors. After a while we would switch =)

... We would burst into evil giggling; we mocked at the voice and the catch phrases of the operator in the game; shoot napalm into walking skeletons, ghosts and wizards; and once, when we opened a door and were suddenly attacked by some weird butcher with an axe  - we both screamed outloud =)

The daily routine rush sucks you in so smoothly and unexpectedly you don't even notice it

 until at one moment you realize you are out of juice and out of breath and your thoughts are straggling. Quantity of tasks are inversely proportional to quantity of time.

No, no one said it would be easy. But with hindsight - I should be probably used to this by now, if not ashamed of the spontaneous moments of weakness. If at 10 I could combine  school, with good grades in my "special mathematical class", music school, extra English lessons, books, friends and some creative activities - 15 years later, I just must be a professional multi-tasker!

"Breathe!" - says my boxing instructor.- "If you do not breathe you won't get enough strength and concentration for your punches".

"Don't forget to breathe" - says my yoga instructor,- " You are rushing into your poses too much. Take it slow, move smoothly and keep on breathing deep".

...If I have already done so much to bring myself to where I am now, I bet I can do more. There is nothing in my life now that has not happened before, in one form or another; only when knowledge and skills grow and develop - the challenges become harder, and the goals - higher. And that must be a good sign :)

So I continue working, and studying, and writing, and reading, and running, and punching, and cooking, and learning something new, and playing the piano, and laughing with friends, and making travel plans, and planning my next big leap.

And breathing...

My winter weekends of 2012

There is something wrong about your immediate supervisor actually telling you to go home...

New Year cleaning

You know that your regular workouts finally start to pay off... when scrubbing a dark dye spot in a bath tub with a double force makes it come out =)

Time flies by

and swirls me out in a maelstrom of events. So much has been achieved and experienced this year, and there is so much more to accomplish. Step by step - the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle will some together; and the result will offset the challenges of the process. New Year's Eve always brings along a bunch of aspirations, and on the New Year Eve it is easier to set them in order. After all, it is a good milestone and a god time for a new big leap.

Worth a shot...